The Daily Dumb 8-29-2008

Molotov cocktail homeruns, fucking with shoplifters, kamikaze cows, and much much more.

I like it when websites are direct and to the point.
I want to be a McLoser!
Another badass pole dancing video. I hope this becomes a trend.
Silly christians.
Earliest known photo of Michael Phelps.
Now I know what I want for dead jesus day this year. A FUCKING MISSILE!
Disturbingly racist asian commercial. This dumbass thinks that playing baseball with a molotov cocktail is a good idea, and I have to agree.
Molotov Cocktail Baseball – Watch more free videos The life of a snapple cap factoid creator can be rough!
Behind the Scenes at Snapple Facts Writers Room – Watch more free videos Kite surfing failure.
Kite Surfer Tries to Jump Boat – Watch more free videos Fun with physics.
Fat Dude Sends Hot Chick Flying – Watch more free videos Oh, that silly Schindler and his WHACKY list.Gay stripper prank call.Weatherman eats shit on the air.Laugh til you pee!Jessica Simpson vs. George Bush Jamie Foxx tears this “comedian” apart.Oh man, that’s one great way to fuck with a thief.This guy takes his fucking medicine.birdy birdy in the sky, let some white wash in my eye, me no care, me no cry, me just glad that cows don’t fly………. or do they?How to fight a bear, informative.I’m walking on sunshine! *shakes head* Top Quotes From the 2008 Olympics Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics: 1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.’ 2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.’ 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’ 4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.’ 5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’ 6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.’ 7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.’ 8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’ 9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?” Look for the funny in each of these pictures.

Farm Help A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, ‘You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels. The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. ‘Unbutton my blouse and take it off,’ she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. ‘Now take off my boots.’ He did as she asked, ever so slowly. ‘Now take off my socks.’ He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. ‘Now take off my skirt.’ He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. ‘Now take off my bra.’ Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, ‘If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.’

The Daily Dumb 8-28-2008

Winnie the Pooh caught in satanic worship, fashion tips for women from a guy who knows nothing about fashion, 5 science experiments that could put an end to the entire world, and much much more.

I am so fucking cool.
Possibly the most random thing you will see all day.
Older article worth reposting. Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows nothing about fashion.
The onion keeps us informed of the most important news in the world.
Celebrities are not rocket scientists when it comes to the environment.
It takes a real man to have a dick cymbal on his drum kit.
Nice compilation of bicycle crashes.
I have no idea how this trick works, but it did.
Interesting idea for a website. Helps you choose gifts based on what you know about someone.
Seriously cool idea. Toddler fight club!
5 scientific experiments that could cause the destruction of the world. I don’t remember Mr. Wizard talking about this shit on Nickelodeon back in the day.
It’s about fucking time we start voting from the rooftops again. New York has a great view of it’s surroundings. Busted for being too awesome.
Dude Busts Chair Jumping Into Pool – Watch more free videos Exhibit A: Why weelbarrow jumping has never caught on.
Wheelbarrow Stunt Wipeout – Watch more free videos This is one guy who’s not going to have to wait up late for his daughter to get home from dates, unless she needs help disposing of the body.
Quality Time With The Kids – Watch more free videos Classic video: Winnie the Pooh worships Satan. Isn’t this kind of like a chinese guy writing a book about how to not be chinese? I think when he asked her to swallow, this isn’t what he meant. Quantum physics will sodomize your brain. Hazmat properties of a woman. A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “One penny?!” exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, “Yes.” So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?” “Certainly sir,” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.” “How much money?” inquires the guy. “Four cents,” he replies. “Four cents?!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?” The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.” The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?” The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”

The Daily Dumb 8-27-2008

Dancing Arab midgets, psychotic fight instigating mothers, Louisville’s leading ladies man, and much much more.

I’ve been using an alarm clock program on my computer for ages, and it’s about time someone made an online version.
Ladies of Louisville, band together and rejoice, your prayers have been answered!
I showed you the other day how pole dancing can be sexy, poetry in motion, and absolutely awe inspiring. Sometimes, that’s not the case…..
I miss being a kid and being composed of rubber.
An ironic ending to an elitist hypocritical fuckhead. Enough said. :) Exercise balls are awesome.
Exercise Ball To The Face – Watch more free videos Guy fucks up his new Bentley
Bentley Slams Into Garage Door – Watch more free videos He’s so cute, you just wanna toss him into some bowling pins.
The Pashtoon Midget Dance – Watch more free videos Guy HATES having his windows clean.
Angry Guy Fights Window Washer – Watch more free videos Holy fucking semi crash batman.
Truck Smashes Into Other Cars – Watch more free videos Damn that was smooth.
Ninth Hole Ninth Beer – Watch more free videos I’m surprised he stood up that fast.
Skater Gets a Bloody Faceplant – Watch more free videos Watch this fine parenting as mother tries to instigate a fight between her kid and another kid by teasing him.
Mom Tries To Get Kids To Fight – Watch more free videos That’s a damn decent explosion if I say so myself.Man, I use my chest and legs as a drum kit all of the time, but this dude is nutty.Playing music backwards…. what fun!Bad day at the office.If you see these guys, shoot on sight.Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy’s mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, “Oh, big boy, whip me, whip me!” Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand. But in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy. About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, “Did you get these marks having sex?” Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy [let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her] eventually admits that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, “I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor you’ve got the worst case of van aerial disease that I’ve ever seen.”

Final Fantasy IV DS

final-fantasy-iv-ds My favorite RPG from my pre-teenie years gets a facelift. This time though, it’s just just a tummy tuck and a boob job. READ!

One Born Under a Whale?

Oh the anticipation for THIS game. My first SNES RPG was Final Fantasy II (a translated, slightly bastardized version of Final Fantasy IV from Japan), and this came out when I was budding into the world of obsessive gaming. I played through that game 1,223,470,928,734 time. I knew just about every line in that game and pretended I WAS Cecil stabbing zombies, becoming a Paladin, blah blah blah.

I ended up picking up the re-releases of FFIV that came out for the PSOne, then the Game Boy Advance, and now… a complete remake of the game for the DS.

It’s a PAWRTAWR! Without the beer and hookers.

Crystal Sword? I don’t think so.

Cecil steals a crystal, gets demoted to Mist Dragon extermination, accidentally murders the Mist Villiage, and sets off to overthrow Baron from it’s mysterious evildoing. Same exact story except presented all fancylike.

The obvious change is the 3D engine remake which definitely does the original justice. It’s cool to see the bosses and fiends animated with tons of detail – something I’ve wanted to see for a VERY long time (ever since Final Fantasy VII came out). There is a very cool CG into that shows, in great detail, what the memorable characters look like. It’s a strange sense of nostalgia to see adult Rydia as she would look if she were standing right in front of me, giving me her phone number. Well, in actuality she’d be casting Titan on me, but… let’s not get into that. Unforunately this is the only CG you will see throughout the entire game.

But what confuses me the most is direction for the characters in the gameplay itself. They have huge heads and don’t match the art in the CG. Hey, I understand there might be limitations with the DS tech, but I would have preferred to see the characters in their full figured, not-so-kiddie adult form.

This is just me being a picky fanboy.

Sensual music of… SENSUALITY!?

The best part of any Final Fantasy game is, without contest, it’s music. This was the case since the original NES release here in the states in 1987. The music MADE the game. Sure, it’s fun to build levels and find stuff, but the music was the glue that adhered your eyeballs to your television screen.

Final Fantasy IV’s music was incredible. When I first heard it on the SNES, I was immediately hooked and obsessed. I even taped the music and listened to it seperately. Yeah… I mean, I lifted weights and played football for hours and hours. *nervous laughter*

The FFIVDS’s music is a… somewhat faithful reprise of the original music. Yeah it’s the same songs. Yeah they’re still memorable. It’s not that they MIDI is bad, it’s just… bland. There’s no real

Gameplay (4) – Just freaking fun.
Graphics (4.5) – All amazing. The deformed character models presented next to the actual CG models is weird.
Music/Sound (3) – My favorite FF soundtrack didn’t quite get the best midi port, but it wasn’t bad.
Replay Value (4) – Has tons of replayability with assigning skills.
Originality (3.5) – It’s Final Fantasy! Wow.

The Daily Dumb 8-26-2008

Hear some badass new Metallica (badass being the shocking part), hear some Mozart playing on glasses, be astounded by Marxist Mario as he eradicates the imperalist pig dog mushrooms, and much much more.

First and foremost, I would congratulate Metallica on actually writing a new METAL song. Holy shit. I thought I would never see the fucking day. Click this and shit yourself.
They all started blowing into jugs and dancing on the porch afterward…..
Hello Satan!
Ahh, the video that began launching Psychostick into internet fame.
Marxist Mario. m/
It was apparently a bad day to be a one legged prostitute.
A week’s worth of Keith Richards’ blow has been seized. These guys sound like flamers. Watch them try to become the embodiment of which…..
Skater Catches Fire – Watch more free videos This little girl shows us how awesome her driving skills will be later.
Little Girl Owned by Bench – Watch more free videos This is why I don’t hang out underneath forklifts.
Crane Load Falls on Old Lady – Watch more free videos Good thing bugs aren’t as big as birds……… this might happen more frequently.
Bird Slams Into Windshield – Watch more free videos Close call
Close Call With Train – Watch more free videos WE ARE FUCK TOGETHER! Worst rap/hip hop song ever? Maybe. Gets progressively worse as the song continues. The last time I was THIS drunk, I woke up next to a penguin, and a hooker with a peg leg. Cuban Tae Kwon Do fighter takes too long on an injury break, and loses because of it. He’s not pleased.Fuckin’ cat.Mozart with water and glasses. Fuckin’ sweet.The funny begins at about 2 minutes in. hahah Additional footage. What if companies used more honest labels?

‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’. The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’ ‘Yes, Father, it is.’ ‘And who was the girl you were with?’ ‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation’ Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’ ‘I cannot say.’ ‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’ ‘I’ll never tell.’ ‘Was it Nina Capelli?’ ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’ ‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’ ‘My lips are sealed.’ ‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’ ‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’ The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’ Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’ ‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’

The Daily Dumb 8-25-2008

The super powers of an 80′s metal musician, pole dancing so artsy it brings a tear to the eye, song parodies that will stick in your mind any time you hear the original again, and much much more.

Art critics are fuckin’ retards.
7 geniuses from history who were clearly nuttier than squirrel turds.
Once in a while, TV is awesome.
Michael Phelps is back in captivity!
Unintentionally funny website domain names.
Back in the 80′s playing metal gave you superpowers!
Nice flash version of chess.
Nasty arm break.
Yep, he’s THAT good. Jesus can’t even do that shit now with those holes in his feet. :)
Vocalizing the retarded shit on the internet can end in humorous results.
SNL still does something right once in a while.
Top 20 gymnast crashes.
You can now be the ultimate Dork of the Rings!
Rosie now has her own autobiographical TV show where she plays a fat retard.
Father of the year!
Your tax dollars at work!
Keep your eye on this political showdown!
Another brilliant idea that didn’t work out so swell.
Mask or not, I would’ve decked that dude.
Badass dogs.
When pole dancing becomes fuckin’ art! Wow.
This makes me want to crawl into the shower and cry in the fetal position. I seriously hope most of the olympiads were smart enough to bring food from home this year….. wow

Sometimes you just can’t keep a good man down. Sometimes, he gets himself down anyhow.
Firefighters Blast Suicide Jumper – Watch more free videos Great parody of a Green Day song.
Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife – Watch more free videos This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve seen all week, and that’s saying A LOT. Apparently this resulted in the dude having to have his tonsils removed.
Idiot Agrees to Take Painball Shot to Throat – Watch more free videos I wonder if this was as painful as it is fucking retarded.
Dumb Stunt Nut Ownage – Watch more free videos Hurricane? COOL. Let’s go tubing.
Hurricane Fay Tube Riding Wipeout – Watch more free videos Us Californians do love our fires! :)
Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition This had better be a spoof. BASS GUITAR! Can fat guys keep up with Michael Phelps?He doesn’t quite get the rotation.Another song parody. Don’t watch this unless you’re not a wuss. Pretty graphic/vile.I like kitties……

1. Zoe Lyons “I can’t believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She’s so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her.” 2. Andrew Laurence “Most of us have a skeleton in the cupboard. David Beckham takes his out in public.” 3. Lloyd Langford “My girlfriend said ‘did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?’ ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but a gun is easier to conceal.” 4. Josie Long “When I was a kid I asked my mum what a couple was and she said ‘oh, two or three.’ And she wonders why her marriage didn’t work.” 5. Tim Vine “Velcro. What a rip-off.” 6. Stephen Grant “The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe – wouldn’t it be easier just to talk to a woman?” 7. Edward Aczel “So far Bird Flu has only killed 47 people. By the time it ends, it’s going to have killed 37 million. It’s got to get going, hasn’t it, if it’s going to be the pandemic we’ve all been hoping for.” 8. Joan Rivers “Grandchildren can be f**king annoying. How many times can you go ‘And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink’? It’s like talking to a supermodel.” 9. Tom Stade “I like Jesus but he loves me, so it’s awkward.” 10. Jeff Kreisler “People were outraged because of Barack Obama’s spiritual advisor. I think it’s great he had one. Who was George Bush’s spiritual advisor? Jim Beam? Johnnie Walker? Jack Daniels?” Oh boy, it’s poster time too!

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.One of them said, “I’m the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.” One of the others said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics.” The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse’s ass and a cowboy hat. Now he’s President of the United States!”

The Daily Dumb 8-22-2008

Putting your best foot forward when it’s time to get arrested, the bible’s greatest orgies and random depraved shit, cracking one last joke as you head into the afterlife, and much much more.

Interesting idea for an online retail store. I’m seriously tempted.
Wearing great shirts when you get arrested should be mandatory.
This might be a bit less cute when the kids grow up and eat their surrogate mother.
The sweetest girl.
The bible’s 6 most depraved acts!
23 kilogram facial tumors are pretty brutal. PETA: It’s what’s for dinner!!!!! Nutshot videos will seriously NEVER get old.
Skater Gets Sacked – Watch more free videos If this doesn’t qualify for the dumb, I don’t know what would.
Three Guys Falling – Watch more free videos The Russian Tsar, the most powerful nuke ever made. The explosion is breathtaking……
Russian Tsar Hydrogen Bomb Explosion – Watch more free videos Imagine being in this plane, holy shit.
747 Struck By Lightning – Watch more free videos Japan: leading the world in trippy/weird shit since 1982…..
The Japanese Olympics – Watch more free videos If the Beastie Boys and Rage Against the Machine were stay at home dads, they’d make videos like this.
Stay at Home Dad Rap – Watch more free videos I’ll give the landing a 2.If you have roommates, don’t leave your messengers logged in if they’re awesome like this roommate. :)Bullrider has a tough break.I think the cop made a shitty call here, but you decide. Hell, I drive 100+ for fun, regularly, and don’t run into things. Then again, this guy seems like a douche that doesn’t speed frequently enough to be good at it. :)Death……..your last opportunity for one good wisecrack!

One night, after a long evening of drinking. Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road. After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her. Some people passing by spotted this and called the police. As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, “I thought you’d be tougher than that, Batman.”

The Daily Dumb 8-21-2008

Disney is marketing with pedophiles in mind while police turn their figureheads into hood ornaments, suicides are going awry, while strapping young lads leave beautiful lasting impressions, and much much more.

7 great men in history, and why you should hate them.
Way to give your parents a lasting visual memory.
Finally a good use for old school big wheels, making me laugh.
This is a pretty fucked up story.
A great story for my fellow geeks. This shit actually works by the way, done it on a scsi beast as well.
Disney partners with pedophiles.
360 degree view of the olympic stadium.
This just in: Bigfoot is STILL fake.
A fun little flash game to kill some time. A 20 second keg stand was too much for this poor damsel.
– Watch more free videos Bambi is this cop’s new hood ornament.
– Watch more free videos Rule #1 in racing…. never celebrate too early.
– Watch more free videos This makes the score physics+gravity: 98723598723587235 humans: 0
– Watch more free videos This reminds me of that part in Indiana Jones where Indy owns the swordsman.
– Watch more free videos Awfully shitty prank.

This reminds me of an old Suicidal Tendencies song….. hahaSmart fucking dog.There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other a lot. One day, they both happen to find a lamp at the same time near a lake. In a lamp was a genie who said, “I would grant both of you three wishes.” The bear went first and he said,”I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest.” And he got his wish. The rabbit said, “I want a motorcycle.” And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, “I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female.” And he got his wish. The rabbit said, “I wish for a helmet.” And he got his wish. The bear (thinking how stupid the rabbit is for making simple wishes) said, “I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females!” And he got his wish. The Rabbit put on his helmet, revved up the motorcycle and he said while speeding off, “I wish that the bear was gay!” There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other a lot. One day, they both happen to find a lamp at the same time near a lake. In a lamp was a genie who said, “I would grant both of you three wishes.” The bear went first and he said,”I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest.” And he got his wish. The rabbit said, “I want a motorcycle.” And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, “I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female.” And he got his wish. The rabbit said, “I wish for a helmet.” And he got his wish. The bear (thinking how stupid the rabbit is for making simple wishes) said, “I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females!” And he got his wish. The Rabbit put on his helmet, revved up the motorcycle and he said while speeding off, “I wish that the bear was gay!”

The Daily Dumb 8-20-2008

The greatest piece of marketing ever created, a fantastic addition to the extreme sports world, what Kim Kardashian would sound like if she quit shaving, and much much more.

Pretty nifty website.
The tallest skyscraper in the world, in Dubai, is nearly completed. The photos make my brain sink into a fine chunky paste. Best…………beer…………..commercial………….EVER!!!!!!!
– Watch more free videos Tornado forms in front of a bus in Poland. You can smell the terror!
– Watch more free videos Hidden camera pranks don’t always render the outcome one would expect.
– Watch more free videos Wrong place, wrong time.
– Watch more free videos Next extreme sport: FLORIDIAN HURRICANE KITE SURFING MADNESS()*&@#%)(*&@#%
– Watch more free videos Some music sucks so bad, it’ll make you bleed from the face.
– Watch more free videos Hyperextensions are fuckin’ nasty.
– Watch more free videos What’s a daily dumb without some chewbecca impersonations, and I don’t mean when Kim Kardashian forgets to shave!Just another well adjusted product of fantastic parenting here in our great nation. Hail Satan.Fear the mullet!Baseball fans just gained a few cool points. Crazy shit made with legos. There’s three dogs, a Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog all sat in a bar having a quiet drink when a great-looking female Collie strolls in. She comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a single sentence can have their way with me.” Quickly, the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie replies, “That’s not good enough.” The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese.” She laughs and says, “That’s not creative enough.” Finally, the Chihuahua says, “Liver alone . . . cheese mine.”

The Daily Dumb 8-19-2008

Getting frisky with Bigfoot, staying home and googling yourself, Britney’s truly obnoxious caterwauling, and much much more.

Did anyone else watch Harry and the Hendersons as a kid and touch themselves? Now I’m feely frisky.
Imagine the fun you could have fucking with your friends if you had one of these?
I’m not sure what’s better, the stupid stunt, or the goofy bastard laughing afterward.
What do you want to do today Olaf? Fuck it, let’s knight a penguin. Some guys just don’t get it.
– Watch more free videos Fuck fishing.
– Watch more free videos Let’s unload the failboat, all aboard!
– Watch more free videos This seriously brightened my day.
– Watch more free videos When I think about me I google myself. That’s how we get it done!
– Watch more free videos These interventions always piss me off. I’m Rico Suave at the office!
– Watch more free videos We’ve got a girl growing crystals in her eyes, and now we’ve got one growing wires from her body. Something’s funky here. Britney’s REAL voice? This just goes to show you with autotune, anyone can be a star. hahahahBitch, can you hear me NOW?Yoplait commercial parody. Fun facts about the human body: Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg. The smallest is the male sperm. You use 200 muscles to take one step. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell. There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. ( I wonder how long it took to count all of them?) Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body. Your teeth start developing (in your gums) 6 months before you are born. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate. Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people. Your thumb is the same length as your nose. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test …. You did it — I KNOW you did !!!!! So, I like kitties………. These two buddies are sitting at the bar in a singles’ club and talking about another guy sitting at the other end of the bar. “I don’t get it,” complained the first guy, “He’s not good looking, he has absolutely no taste in clothes, and he drives a beat up wreck of a car, yet he always manages to go home with the most beautiful women here!” “Yeah,” replies his buddy, “He’s not even a very good conversationally, all he does is sit there and lick his eyebrows.”