"Four sexy young girls are to clean an old house for the new owners. They get delivered an old book full of magic incantations, and while reading it they accidentally bring a cartoon character to life. The cartoon character likes the blood of young girls..."

Taglines!

Arguably, the quality of any B-Movie can be determined by its taglines. Evil Toons sports two taglines. "First they undress you, then they possess you!" suggests that the movie will not only contain cartoons that are evil, but also violence and boobays! The two things that make America great. The second tagline, "This dude is rude" sounds like this movie might be for little kids about a mischievous cartoon character. Either way you're set up for a terrible movie, and either way it "stars" David Carradine. Hooray.

Lies! All Lies!

While there's no doubt that Evil Toons is a bad movie, there are many times where the cover of the movie plain lies to us. The name 'Evil Toons' suggests that there are more than one toon - hence the plural use of the noun. But no, there is only one toon, some kind of wolf thingy, and he's only in the movie for approximately 45 seconds. The same is true for David Carradine, who randomly shows up to say a few nonsensical phrases, then proceeds to hide behind the couch or something. On the plus side, one would not expect to see as many boobays in Evil Toons that are readily available in nearly every scene. These are quality boobays as well. Not some kind of "ooo, a boobay" scene. These are all "LOOK AT MY NIPPALS!" Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun!

Lazy, Lazy Filmmakers

While making a cartoon kill people might seem like a novel idea, it's really not. It just follows the horror movie formula of "make something kill people." Much like mosquitoes, mirrors, frogs, lesbian vampires, Nazi zombies or evil mutant cats that hide inside of real cats that have been known to kill people in other b-movies. But besides that fact, it would still be fun to see something kill people other than other people. I mean, what fun is that? Well Evil Toons shows us because about 30 seconds into the movie the cartoon "possesses" a woman and SHE then kills everyone. So what was the point of the cartoon? A gimmick. A gimmick to make idiots like me buy this movie for $2.99 in the bargain bin. You win this time director Fred Olen Ray. His directing power is mirrored only by his work in Invisible Dad, Invisible Mom II, The Brain Leeches, 13 Erotic Ghosts and Erotic Invisible Cartoon Brain Leeches II: Electric Boogaloo.

The Bottom of the Line

Evil Toons might not be exactly what you're looking for if you're into cartoons going on cartoon rampages, but if your into stupid killing with many boobays, this movie is for you. You can kind of get the idea of this movie by looking at what other films the actresses have starred in. For example, Barbara Dare has starred in such classics as Lick Bush, Legends of Porn III, Debbie Does 'Em All 3 (apparently during the first two she missed some), Sorority Pink, Sorority Pink 2: The Initiation, Wet Pink, Woman to Woman, Sex Beat, Sex Asylum II, Ride a Pink Lady, Oral Majority, Hannah Does Her Sister, Dirty Harriet, Deep Throat Girls, Debbie Goes to College, Debbie Goes to Camp, Debbie Scared Stupid, Debbie Goes to Jail, Slam-Dunk Debbie, Debbie Saves Christmas, Playpen, Surf Sand and Sex, The Honeydrippers, Tail for Sale, Best Little Whorehouse in Hong Kong, Lust Italian Style, Girls Who Dig Girls 8 and For Her Pleasure Only... just to name a few. And that's just one of the four major female boobay roles in Evil Toons. Porn Monkey is sure to want to see this.

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Originality A cartoon makes a five second appearence then turns into a woman and kills people. Wow. -4
Acting Porn stars can't act, but they have lots of boobays. -4
Soundtrack AWFUL -4.5
Effects/Presentation The cartoon and blood looked okay... I guess. -2.5
Storyline Boring, stupid, makes no sense. -4.5
0
Final Verdict: -3.9

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Scarecrow pizzas:

Smilie!I watch bad movies, so that I can point and laugh...

Terror Toonz is actually BETTER (which isn't saying much) than this movie (although, I'm sure you guys were upset at the lack of boobs in it). There's more than ONE toon and you actually get to see the Toonz kill the people...

Cool dude (Guest) says in non-morse code:

Smilie!y whach a movie that is bad

King Controversy (Guest) excretes:

Smilie!It sounds pretty retarded to watch a movie that you know won't be good.

Murph absolves:

Smilie!Was 50% of Terror Toons' cast made up of porn stars?

Joebob excretes:

Smilie!I dunno man, is it as bad as Terror Toons??
Looks grart!
Amazing effects!
See David Carradine in other films like Kung Fu and Kill Bill!