Gawkman reviews a rap metal band that has absolutely nothing new and/or original to offer. Except maybe a name that deals with the inventor of the theory of evolution. Nevermind, evolution isn't exactly a new idea either.

Ever had a friend let you hear a cd and you thought, "Hey, this kicks ass!"

Then you got the cd for yourself and thought, "Nevermind, it doesn't! I must have heard it wrong the first time!"

Well, probably not, but it happened to me. And when things happen to me, I like to share them, because if I didn't, my reviews would probably suck. No, don't you even think about commenting on that last statement, I know what you're gonna say, and you can just go sniff a bottle of white-out.

The Good

Okay, I'll probably be pretty harsh in this review, but I do have to give these guys some credit. They do get some decent grooves going, and they do have a couple of rather good songs. A couple. The productions pretty good. They seem to have two singers, one of them has a really good singing voice. On the other hand...


There is a rapper singer guy. I never paid much attention to him, because in their radio single "Feel So Stupid", he only raps occasionally. But in the other songs, he does quite excessively. And it is ANNOYING. It started out as tolerable, but eventually started making me do that "squint with eyebrows raised and head pulling back in disgust" thing. He has a TERRIBLE raspy, whiny, make-you-want-to-punch-Kayn-many-times-in-the-intestines sound to it. Ugh.

I've heard a lot of rapper guys in bands, and with maybe the exception of the rapper dude in 311, this guy is probably the worst. I'm listening to the second track right now, and I want to murder someone. And that's bad because I'm at work. The chorus is this: "Fuck that, fight back, live for the moment." That is an totally pathetic "catch line" for a song. Absolutely pathetic. You could tolerate lame lyrics like that in a verse somewhere, but this is the CHORUS, and they repeat it FOUR times if that's not enough.

The cd itself has like 2 songs out of the 11 that give me a desire to actually want to listen to again. 5 or so that are tolerable songs (though not great), and the rest are pretty much shit. Especially this one track where it sounds like they invited that annoying Jamaican-sounding artist Shaggy in to participate (I think he used to do a song called "Mr. Boombastic" or something). Makes sense, have 2 songs be your radio singles, and the rest can be SHIIIIIIIIIT.

I can't think of anything else good to say.

Surely there's something else I can say about this cd. Wait no, no there really isn't. I could go track by track and describe how each track sucks, "This track has a completely cliche' riff, this one horrible vocals, this one sounds like a Korn song, this one is DUMB..." but I'm not really one of those "feed on the negative" guys. I actually tried to think of some good things to say about this cd, but alas, the SUCK was too great for me to escape.


Category Comment Rating
Gameplay Nice kick drum sound. 4
Graphics Nothing special here. 3
Music/Sound You've heard this before. 1
Replay Value Mediocrity, except for "Feel So Stupid" 2.5
Originality Heavy at times... 3
Final Verdict: 2.7


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Industrislaven says in non-morse code:

Smilie!ive never heard em before. but i know my friend has hung out with the (or one of the... i dont know if they have 2 or not and i dont care) guitarist.. been to his house.. and said he was a complete dumbass.

Gawkman blahs:

Smilie!You mean musical talent and personal character aren't directly proportional?!?

Rawrb dispenses:

Smilie!Have you noticed people who like bands we don't call the bands, "Nice Guys?" Album reviews are just that, ALBUM REVIEWS. We aren't judging their character. There is a difference.

Gawkman yammers:

Smilie!I gave legit, specific reasons why I don't like the album. You gave me no specific reasons why I'm a "fucking idiot" or why "my reviewing abilities are decent at best".

I'd hate to read a review you wrote:

"They suck cuz I said so!!!"

Vince (Guest) jabbers:

Smilie!I think you're a fucking idiot. I'm not going to waste my time writing much. Your album reviewing abilities are decent at best. "Orphan" is a great album with 9 great songs (and two decent songs). Plus, I've met the band a few times. They are SUPER nice and down to Earth. So, to sum up, you're retarded. Thanx for your time. Peace.