Kayn reviews a show that he wouldn't normally go to. But since his band is half punk rockers, he decided to tag along with Gawkman as well since Guttermouth was slapstick too...

So Gawkman and I go to his house to get his equipment for rehearsal, when my cell rings.

HUNTAR!: Hey man, want to go see Guttermouth and some other punk bands?"
Me: Uhh, aren't we rehearsing?
HUNTAR!: SHUT UP FAG! DIE AND GO TO HELL!
Me: ...Guttermouth it is.

We payed for expensive parking in downtown Tempe (college town - suburb of Phoenix), and walked to the Bash. While we stood in a long line, a few guys cut in front of us right before we got into the door. Later I found out those obnoxious fellas were in the band Trick Turner. Then I had to pee.

Ain't no 'thoritah heyur!

We walked in as Victims in Ecstasy was exiting the stage. That was good, mind you - we've seen them before. Ugh.

After waiting for what seemed like an hour, Authority Zero took the stage, and surprised me a little bit. Their songs had your traditional 'ridiculously fast' beats and catchy melodies/chants. Some small pits would form here and there (which, this being one of my first real punk shows, surprised me) as the band would hammer away at some good tunes. The singer, the most energetic of the members, would catch a lot of air while leaping into the air, and eventually on top of the massive speakers. He kept the croud's attention, got them to participate here and there, and had a good voice.

Authority Zero kicked ass.

BOOO!

After Authority Zero left the stage, we waited in anticipation as they set up Trik Turner's equipment. I've downed a good couple of bottles of water already, and was hoping to find me a seat (I'm a wuss or something).

So then, the lights started to do thingies, and there was some strange, ominous music playing loudly while they took the stage. Then, there was a building point.

You know how most bands (be it punk or metal) go into this frenzy after some building music? Machine Head, for example. Last time I saw them in Austin, they had a really cool opening sound music thingy, and came out, ripping shit up. That was Machine Head. As a result, Machine Head kicks ass.

Anyway, so the building music ends, and Trik Turner starts 'playing.'

After a couple of minutes into their first 'song,' Gawkman looks at me with a disgusted look on his face. I returned the glance with an equally uncomfortable expression. These guys were AWFUL.

Trik Turner, in a nutshell, is basically a combination of a really bad Linkin Park mixed with Limp Bizkit. Except these guys were fat, had the "hell yeah, look at me, uh, uh, I'm a straight playa'" attitude, along with annoying ass lower pitched voices.

Concert Rule #674: When putting on a Punk concert, be sure to maintain a Punk lineup. Do not mix genres, for punk-loving kids are into Punk, or Punk-like genres (such as Ska, or maybe even a little Emo) ONLY.

Well, Trik Turner learned this the hard way. The REALLY hard way.

Probably after the 3rd or so song (naah, I'd say the second), a lot of the kids around us starting screaming, "YOU F*CKING SUCK!" and "BOO!" and uh, "GET OFF THE F*CKING STAGE!" I mean, it was brutal. Around the 4th song, everyone (keep in mind there's a good 400-500 people here) sat on the floor, giving Trik Turner the birdie. After their 5th song, they just walked off the stage. Well, hey, you play some shitty rapcore at a punk show, that will happen! Especially if the singer guy is about a step and a half off pitch when he tries to sing.

This goes out to all the guys who book shows - keep the genres reasonable when booking shows. I'm sure Trik Turner didn't like getting booed off the stage. I would have cried and cried if that were me.

Lucky the Donkey

After that nightmare was over, we all stood back up with a big grin. Guttermouth was up next, and according to HUNTAR!, "Guttermouth is the Cannibal Corpse of Punk." Well, he would know - you should see how he dresses.

Another 2 years flies by as they set up Guttermouth's stuff, and unknowingly, they all casually walked on stage. We heard from a heavily pierced fellah that, "They all get plastered before they perform." I thought that was cool, then BAM, there they were.

Instantly - and by instantly I mean, the very first note - a GIANT pit broke out and we were shoved to the side of the floor. The band up on stage was pretty much standing there playing, except for Mr. Vocalist, who ran back and forth across the stage beating the side of his head while singing.

While they were playing, there were tons of crowd surfing people (mostly chicks, which you unfortunately NEVER see at metal shows) finding their way on stage. They would dance around and jam a little, then leap back into the crowd. There were a few times when a couple of chicks would end up on stage, and we'd see some b00bage here and there (which makes any concert 10 times better than before).

Overall though, Guttermouth sounded great, put on a good show, and was hilarious on stage. I would definately see them again, even though I'm not a huge punk guy person.

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Sound/Production Everything sounded up to par in there, I was happy. 4.5
Presentation Well...it was fun. 3.5
Originality A point goes away because Trik Turner was there. 4
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Final Verdict: 4

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

iliana (Guest) unleashes:

Smilie!authority zero is fukin awsome i give u thumbs up