Zombies, zombies everywhere, and me without a spoon!

Zombies! Quite possibly the greatest invention since fried dough. Different people's visions of zombies differ quite greatly. Some are slow, fast, stupid, race car drivers, really slow, math teachers, kinda faster than really slow but no faster than slow, but all have one thing in common; they eat lots of brain meat.

The only thing that prevents a zombie from eating brain meat is by being killed before it can obtain such meat to eat. But, since the zombie has not yet tasted brain meat he is not a zombie in the truest form, therefore the zombie becomes depressed and must attend therapy.

Zombie therapists are hard to come by, so many are forced to wander around homeless, unsheltered, and without having a home or a shelter. Not to mention the growing amount of zombie babies without parents, mothers, fathers, homes, or shelters. Of course they DO have parents, but they stumbled off in search of brain meat or proper zombie counseling.

Now that you've had a little made up background info on zombies, we can move on to the review. That's right! Resident Evil for Game Cube! Let the exclamation points ensue!

This is Game Cube's first "Mature" rated game that I know of, and rightfully so, this game has more violence, gore, zombies, and grandfather clocks then you can shake a smaller grandfather clock at. Heads are blasted off, eaten by dreaded ZOMBIE SHARKS, impaled with big spikes of doom, ripped to shreds, and all kinds of stuff that you'd see in a low quality B movie, except here it looks much better.

The game starts out with you able to pick one of two characters. Chris Redfield; who can take more damage before dying because he's just bursting with manliness, or Jill Valentine; who can carry more items because she's probably got a purse to carry extra car keys and those little mints you get at a restaurant or something. I chose Jill Valentine first because I like holding items and I can evade zombies like no body's business! I also chose the "Hiking" difficulty because I figured it may be a bit easier for my first try than "Mountain."

An opening cut scene ensued that was pretty much like the original for Playstation, except now it was all CGI as opposed to the live action they had before. They made the characters look just like the old live action characters though, witch was pretty cool. Even cooler for the people who played them in the original. They could be all like, "It's me in computer form!" I think that might scare me though because it'd be like looking into a digital mirror, and I'd get more pissed off when my guy got eaten by zombies, because real me can run much faster than the digital me.

You enter the main lobby, witch looks just like the PSX version, only graphically MUCH MUCH better. Most of the rooms are rearranged from the PSX version, and many rooms and puzzles were added, along with new characters and story parts that I will not ruin for you. The game holds now a lot more mystery as to who's with and against you, and who's playing both sides. This adds to the "edginess" of the game because you don't have to only deal with mindless monsters, but evil humans as well.


Kayn isn't a zombie, but if he was, your brain meat would be in serious jeopardy.

The music, sound, and lighting effects really set the mood for the game. You'll walk down a small corridor with a fire down the hall, your shadow and the shadows around you will dance around all crazy and realistically, it's cool. In fact, the lighting effects really are the best seen in any game to date, at least that I've seen. In some areas you can hear water trickle down walls and the water splash up as it forms ripples when you step in it. Creaky wood floors do just that; creak, and dust accumulation gets stirred up as you walk over it. The zombies also produce such effects and moan quietly as they stumble towards your sweet, delicious, brain meat.

A new thing about the zombies, they are much harder to keep dead. In the PSX version, once you saw a pool of blood form around the zombie they were gone for good, this is not the case in the Game Cube version. If left "dead" long enough, the zombies will mutate into what they call "Crimson Heads." These are faster, stronger, and damn scary dudes. They run after you breathing hard and slashing their claws into you. They can also slam open doors and chase you from room to room. In order to get rid of these things you have to either blast their head off, or start them on fire. Going out on zombie burning expeditions is a good idea to avoid dozens of Crimson Heads stalking you throughout the mansion.

Another new factor to the Game Cube version is the use of defense items. These items are a stun gun for Jill, a grenade for Chris, and daggers for both of them. What happens is if a zombie grabs you, you can use the defense item and shock, stab, or blow their head apart before it has a chance of tasting your brain meat. Chris' grenade is especially cool, he pulls the pin and jams it in the zombie's mouth. The zombie gets pushed back, and still comes at you with the grenade in it's mouth, pull out the hand gun, aim, and fire; boom goes zombie head. Stuff like that never gets old, folks. Iv'e beat this game 3 times and all 3 times has had different endings, I've heard there are 10 in all. You also get nifty stuff for beating the game or beating it faster. New costumes, weapons, game modes, all kinds of neat junk. The first time through this game it took me 12 hours, not to mention the couple times I died and had to go back. This game is a must for any Game Cube owner, and since it's exclusive, along with the next 3 RE games, you may want to invest in one yourself.

Oh, and in closing, don't be like me and conserve all your ammo for the grenade launcher, I beat the game without using it. And yes, I had about 60 rounds of different types left when I beat it. Stupid frugal me!

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Gameplay Controls are a tad odd as always, but other than that great! 4.5
Graphics Best to date. 5
Music/Sound Awsome, adds to everything. The song in the commercial is cool too. 5
Replay Value 10 different endings and all kinds of neat junk. 4.5
Originality It's Resident Evil, they invented survival horror. 5
0
Final Verdict: 4.8

Comments!

blog comments powered by Disqus
The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Pluhsomeulizm un-shut-ups:

Smilie!FUCKEDUP said:I AM PULLING YOUR DICK OUT OF IT'S SOCKET MOTHER FUCKER STOP SAYING CRAP YOU PERVERTED FREAK.

FUCKEDUP (Guest) excretes:

Smilie!I AM PULLING YOUR DICK OUT OF IT'S SOCKET MOTHER FUCKER

Rawrb bakes:

Smilie!Want this game!

Ross (Guest) conveys:

Smilie!i thought your review was strange to say the least. what was the deal with the kid in the sink????? any way it is a brilliant game.

Sin (Guest) forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!---THIS TERRIFYING GAME IS GOD---DAMN---BEST!!!!
Oh no! He's out for brain meat!
Big room of roomness.
The outside areas are REALLY cool and spooky.
So very cool
Kill the zombie guy man!
These things are annoying and bad!