Super Smash Brothers Melee! The best game ever! 2nd best game ever? Super Smash Brothers! 3rd? ...I dunno, Friday the 13th for Nintendo?

When was the last time that you had a party? What did you do? Sit around and play Twister? Truth or Dare? See who fell asleep first and put shaving cream on their hand and tickle their nose until they wake up and almost put in in their face but instead find out that their head is in a vice? That's all weak my friends. Nothing spells "fuhn" like a Super Smash Brothers Melee party! No complaining neighbors, no drunk guys hitting on lighting fixtures, and your place stays cleaner than a fat man's eating hand!

I rented this game even though I know that one of my relatives probably got me it for Christmas. My relatives all jump as soon as they know of something I might want, I guess I'm a pretty hard person to buy gifts for. I usually get cans of black olives, those big fuzz socks that people torture cats with, and computer games from the 1960's with names like, "Questar's Inquestable Quest for the Questing Quest of Donkey: Based on the Pac-man Engine!" So, I'm usually giving suggestions, and with my recent GameCube purchase ideas are easier to come by.

You may remember a while back I reviewed the first Super Smash Brothers game. If so you're really stupid because I never reviewed it, but I said I did in that sentence so you believed me. You are one gullible bastard. This paragraph had no meaning.

On first impressions of the game I found that the graphics, sound, and frame rate was really, really, really... good. And, that my word power has shrunk significantly. All the textures are smooth and ripe, like sweet Spring rain kissing the plump stem of a nectarine as it begs to be plucked and devoured... and good. It has that cool, "2D with 3D look" to it and everything really jumps off the screen like big jumping telepathic leprechauns jumping off screens. The sound and music (with the exception of the really annoying "DK Rap" song) is really cool and some remakes of classic Nintendo tunes really add to the experience. Not to mention all of the voices of the characters yelling and grunting and stuff.

Gameplay has been well enhanced from the first game, single player extravagantly. There is now an "Adventure" mode that puts you through a level and boss for nearly every character. For example, in the first level your character goes through an old school Mario Bros type level jumping on Goompas and Turtles, being an overall pimp of the Mushroom Kingdom. After the level is beaten you go on to fight Mario and Peach on the roof of the castle before going to the next level. You can also collect a ton of trophies that do nothing, but are still kind of neat none the less. This adds a lot to the single player game, so as you're not sitting playing the game against 3 of your best computer "buddies" as opposed to the actual human contact that I drive myself away from. Just don't expect Yoshi and the gang to get you a date to prom, just put on your Legend of Zelda shirt and stay away from the scary girls, I hear they give you rare tropical diseases anyway.

All in all, multiplayer is what the games all about, and playing with real friends is a lot of fun. There are a ton of new items to choose from, not to mention cool levels that constantly change and move. A ton of characters also add to the longlivity of the game, (if longlivity is a word, and I'm guessing not since the spell check made it lung-ivy or something) and make you want to beat on your friends longer and more often. If you have a Gamecube, and maybe a friend or two, this is a game you should say, "yes" to. Right after you say, "Murph is the master of the universe." Stupid He-Man.


Category Comment Rating
Gameplay So much fun, but not nearly as much alone. 5
Graphics Near perfection. 5
Music/Sound Good remakes of old classics, though some are annoying. *cough* DK Rap *cough* 4
Replay Value So much nerd party. 5
Originality Not counting SSB, there's nothing like it. 5
Final Verdict: 4.8


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

BeerMongerRon verbalizes:

Smilie!Smash Brothers is the rock!

It made all that is good, and now brawl will hopefully do the same.

devil4114 (Guest) verbalizes:

Smilie!i love it, just like my face

black knight (Guest) pizzas:

Smilie!Now thats a good game.

Jeremy (Guest) vocalizes:

Smilie!Jeremy said:dont say you hat it, because it loves you twice as much as you hat it man i did not press "e" when i did hate

Jeremy (Guest) communicates:

Smilie!dont say you hat it, because it loves you twice as much as you hat it

Bob splats:

Smilie!bob said:i'm so f about this game because it is so stupid i can not undersdant f about this game i get so mad and have to go boze it

Bob blahs:

Smilie!i'm so f about this game because it is so stupid

cody (Guest) plutoniums:

Smilie!i love super smash bros mele

AJ (Guest) vocalizes:

Smilie!i dont understand this game very much pornofairy its got no plot i dont like it sorry!

Pornofairy (Guest) splats:

Smilie!It is the best game EVER!
Bashing good!
Battle of battlage
I hate Hollywood Squares
Brrring HA!
More bashage
Just like Street Fighter
Ran out of pictures, here's a potting tray