Kayn gets the latest 2D Metroid game and plays it. Now, you will FEARS ME! Does it stand up along with Super Metroid? Does it even surpass it? Maybe. SHUT UP!

It's been about 8 years since the last Metroid game was released into our hands. I remember the very first Metroid game. Kayn here was about 7 years old, maybe 8, and the great game's presence was wisked upon my mean evil Uncle (at the time, he was mean and beat me up a lot LOL ROLMAROM) and I could only watch.

It was bliss. Samus was running around frantically, with the familiar red helmet and visor, leaping a flipping her way around to gets teh bad guys...and I couldn't play it. I could only watch. It was sad. Much sad.

She's BAAAACK...

Hot Femails Feel Bad for Kayn and GIVE HIM SECKS!

Well, it turned out that I did eventually get to play it, of course, from renting it several times and wishing I had enough money to actually purchase it. I was like 9 or something, damnit! No source of income except for, maybe, 10 cents a month or something! DIE STUPID LACK OF HAVING PRIVELIDGES AS A CHILD! RAOWERAOFO!J32813 *murdar murdar*

Then Metroid II: Return of Samus came out for Game Boy. Much, MUCH fun. And of course the infamous Super Metroid, which is possibly the best entry in the series. Well, that is, unless Metroid Prime and Fusion take that crown. With that in mind, let's get to the actual review of the game. DIE!

Samus has a VAGINA!

Metroid Fusion is being dubbed as "Metroid 4," whereas Metroid Prime is kind of a Prequel. Or so I've heard. Supposedly, Metroid Prime takes place between Metroid 1 and 2. I will be able to confirm this very soon. Somehow. I guess. Whatever.

So anyway, like I said, Metroid Fusion takes place after Metroid 3 ends. How can I introduce this without spoiling it...hmm. Well, I'll warn ya if it gets too nasty.

Samus is exploring a planet one day with a research team or something, and she gets attacked by a virus after defeating a small enemy. The virus attacks her while she's escorting a research ship (I think), and she crashes into a asteroid belt and stuff.

The virus (called the X-virus or something) somehow infected her suit, and it had to be surgically removed from her. Then, stuff happens.

This particular game has a more of a storyline and plot than the previous Metroid games. There's more narration that takes place between you and some computar, and it even has some spooky parts that end up sending a chill down yer spine. Yeah! Seriously. The plot is very cool in this game, simply because you go toe-to-toe with someone/something that is...something/someone you'd never think would be your enemy. :)


Well, so the storyline is cool. What about the rest of the game?

Luckily for all of us, the game retains that old Metroid feel, with some newer elements. Samus now has a few more new abilities, such as grabbing onto ledges, climbing up ladder type thingys, and obtain some newer weapons and stuff. The old "explore and you shall be rewarded" attribute still remains, which makes you want to play this game again. I finished the game in about 4.5 hours without mass exploring. I found about 45% of everything, which means, "Kayn will play again and again to get everything!"


Some control thingys have changed as well to fit the GBA's controller setup. For instance, hold down the R button to select yer missles, and release to go back to your regular weapon. Same goes for super bombs when you're in the Morph Ball mode.

For the most part though, Samus retains most of her previous moves from Super Metroid. She can still do the super-run-crouch-rocket-jump thingy, as well as jump from wall to wall Ninja Gaiden style. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to play Super Metroid again and search around and stuff. Beer!

Graphically, this game doesn't have any faults. By far, this game has some of the best visuals on the GBA to date, even beating out some great games like Golden Sun and Tactics Ogre. There are some massive sprites in this game as well, which show few signs of pixellation and stuff. Sometimes there are some blocky looking textures when enemies resize themselves, which looks SNES mode-7 type stuff. But it never looks bad, and that is good.

The music score is also near perfection, which fits the darker atmosphere than most Metroid games. Certrain bosses that you fight will have techno-ish remixes of Super Metroid music. Most of the time I hate remixes, but this game pulls it off very nicely. Hurray!

Metroids are like clingy girlfriends...

...they suck the life out of you 'till you turn into dust. HAR HAR FEEAR TEH WIT OF ME!

So, this game is ESSENTIAL if you own a GBA. It's essential if you even remotely like Metroid games. Hell, it's essentrial if you are a gamer. It's set a few new standards, and really brings back that old exploration nerdy feeling that I used to get when playing Metroid type games. Buy it! GRAWWRRR!!


Category Comment Rating
Gameplay Fun like you do not know! 5
Graphics GLARRR!!! 5
Music/Sound Perdy fun! 5
Replay Value So much need to play again! 5
Originality It are metroid. Yes! 4.5
Final Verdict: 4.9


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Blondeaux conveys:

Smilie!I just bought the game yesterday and it is ever bit as good as Kayn says it is. Yogurt es sehr gut!

Rawrb un-shut-ups:

Smilie!Oh yeah? Well...I finished Fusion already! *hits murph with stick that creates death and blood, and a little bit of anguish, but not too much*

Murph plutoniums:

Smilie!HAR! I gots Metroid Prime today! One day earlay! *hits Kayn with envy stick*
Teh map tells you stuff!
She are still bayud!
The map STILL tells you stuff!
I feel the need...FOR SPEED! *double five*
Familiar baddies still do not like you.
Computar talks to you! Amazing!
Brrrr...blast away the cold!
It are getting dark in here! So take off all yer clothes!
Hurray! I can now jump a lot!
What are that? Will it give me something?
Flying a space ship is like sex. Ya DO IT!
Samus KNOWS!
She likes to SCREW...attack.