Look here! Yeah you. HAWR HAR HAWHAHAH..made you look. Well, while you're here, check out my review of Constantine.
Let me just take a minute to say that although Keanu started off playing stupids in movies like Bill & Ted's and Parenthood, he's made a fine transition to drama roles. Can he be the next Tom Hanks? pffft...FOR STUPID! No. However, he has become an icon and spawned a generation of uber dorks wearing expensive sun glasses and black trench coats believing that The Matrix REALLY IS out there. But that's ok, cause they weren't ever going to see teh BOOBAYS anyways...
This movie makes constant religious references. The Bible, the spear that killed Jebus, the rise of Lucifer as ruler of Earth, bleh bleh bleh. If this bores you, I suggest you use the time to go pee or bleh yourself to death via Pluh's forums...
John Constantine [Keanu Reeves] is a condemned man on earth exAARcising half-demons from humans in an attempt to gain redemption from God and get a ticket into heaven. pffft, like any of us need that! Angela Dodson [Rachel Weisz] is a cop who's twin sister Isabel supposedly killed herself, and she's conviced that it was murdAAR. She finds Constantine and recruits his help to find answers.
Keanu's preparing for his next film...Dilbert.
While walking the earth, Constantine finds himself facing demons on a regular basis, fighting them off with the help of a priest, some religious thingies, some booze and lots of cigs. He makes a few trips to Hell via a cat and some water and a chair from Sing-Sing. Don't ask me who thought these conduits would make sense, but hey, it sure looked cool.
Hell's demons are jealous because he found Teh Golden Ticket!
Oh, and the golden cricifix-ladden crossbow shooting vials of holy water was TEH BOMB!
"AAARRR, back Ashlee Simson...errr...demons! Or you shall receive the golden spray of DEATH!"
The cinematography was pretty choice. The definately used some spiffy angles to make the movie that much more like the comic book scenes, and the special effects were pretty tasty. Overall, I think the movie was a success. It has it's dark moments and a few chuckles. Peter Stormare makes an impact as Satan and really pulls the whole thing together.
|Originality||Meh...classic Good vs. Evil type flick.||3|
|Acting||Not much range, but still werd-ee||4|
|Soundtrack||Hey, A Perfect Circle is on it. Need I say more?||4|
|Effects/Presentation||Wikkid effects and camera angles.||5|
|Storyline||Well written with some nice flowage.||4|
|Keanu-ism||Not-So-Sweet November was rude, crude and kicked demon arse! RAWR!!||5|
|Final Verdict: 4.17|