Kayn drags his sweet honey thang to a movie-poo, and yes, he watched it. Because it was Lord of the Rings, the biggest movie to ever hit the dorks and nerds across TEH WARLD!

Alright, so now I have to get caffine flowing through me veins before I write this, because I ARE WRITE BETTAR with caffine. Hang on, let me go make some coffee (I'm out of syringes).

Prelude to a salami

...okay, coffee is being made. Anyway, so like I was saying, uh, I went and saw Lord of the Rings (henceforth known as LOTR). Was it good? Yes. Was it great? Yes. Was it super-mega-extravagant? Yeah. Was it perfecto? Very close.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS... gas.

So, me and the supreme Goddess of the known universe and beyond (yeah) went to see this flick. Let me tell you folks, she is a brave soul indeed for attending the dorkiest of dork movies with TEH PLUH>COM WEBMASTHTAR. There is a reason for this:

  • The LOTR books are what started RPGs, Dungeons and Dragons, and all that shit.
  • The two idiots in front of us were acting out Dungeons and Dragons type scenarios before the movie started.
  • We saw a trailer for Austin Powers 3 - Goldmember. Sweet.
  • I cooed like a dog in heat when the movie started.

So, you too would be scared. Anyhoo...

Gandalf casted Fire 3!

Well, what can I really say. Peter Jackson (director) really, REALLY dug his nails into the LOTR plot and did a marvelous job in the book-to-movie transition. I can distinctly remember me pointing at the big screen saying, "ERRFFH! I REMEMBAR THAT PART!" *sips newly made coffee with cheap french vanilla creamer* Gandalf was a little nicer in this movie than the book, though - he's supposed to be more of an mean old coot, but that's all good. Parts of the book that were left out made a little sense, like they never visited the Brandybuck place as they did in the movie, and other little things like that.

But of course, if you haven't read the books, you wouldn't know what I said, or what the hell a Brandybuck is.

My biggest concern was if they would portray hobbits correctly (3 feet tall), elves (tall and slender), and so forth. Well, to my surprise, the hobbits were perfectly shown to scale, the elves maintained their pointy eared-ness, and the dwarven guys (Lali-ho) were extremely ugly and stout. Maaah-velous.

Frodo be knowin' his sheeeit.

All in all, great movie. Unless you date is as dorky as I am, don't take her to see it, because she will yawn a lot (heh heh). Take her to see Eight Legged Freaks, so that Murph will be satisfied with stupidity glee. ROAWR SCARY SPIDAR DEATH!

I are done. (Liv Tyler...next pluhbabe? :)

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Originality Uhh, it's LOTR. It's more original than the word, original! 5
Acting Excellent acting, not a damn thing wrong here. 5
Soundtrack Well composed and fits the movie flawlessly. 5
Effects/Presentation I really believed that they were real hobbits! 5
Storyline You can't go wrong with LOTR, unless you're the animated version... 5
0
Final Verdict: 5

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

(Guest) unleashes:

Smilie!.

Amalie (Guest) communicates:

Smilie!Yes, Orlando's build is kind of on the "skinny" side. But he seems to be filling out a little bit as he gets older. He DOES have a beautiful face, though, and I LOVE his eyes! And he's got a very cute, sexy smile! Personally, I don't really mind that he's not a "Super Hunk!" (I DO think he looked best as "Legalos.")

Shan conveys:

Smilie!He's not scrawny. I consider someone like Screech from Saved By the Bell a scrawny guy. Do not insult Orlando Bloom or you will be shot. :)

bones discharges:

Smilie!yeah but he is pretty scrawny...if you've ever seen him in any other movie, in black hawk down he's the dude that falls out of the helo, looks pretty scrawny to me.

Shan pizzas:

Smilie!for you information, he's not what I consider a scrawny pretty boy :)

Rawrb dispenses:

Smilie!Shan said:I agree. On both accounts. It's all about Legolas. :) I didn't know you dug scrawny pretty boys? :p

Shan verbalizes:

Smilie!I agree. On both accounts. It's all about Legolas. :)

maggie (Guest) verbalizes:

Smilie!This movie was absolutely incredible. I love the LOTR. I can't believe anyone doesn't like it. Beats me. Orlando Bloom's hot, as well!
TEH MOOVIE OF TEH EON!
Dwarven anger and some hobbit.
Strider and a really hot elven chick.
ORCS OF DEATH!
The pointy end goes in the bad guy
Catching The One Ring are not easy.
Gandalf and his horsie thang.
Evil RIDARS!