Gawkman man reviews the movie! He never read the books! He's a loser!
You've probably read in the realm of two-hundred-thousand reviews about Return Of the King, maybe even written a dozen yourself. You've probably even debated on messageboards against others' opinion on the movie. Hell, you probably already found a way to download the movie and burn it to DVD and have seen it more times than you've read movie reviews.
So, what's different about this review? Why should you read this review? What's so special about this review? Well, I'll tell you what's special about this review:
Yes, my review offers a pic of a nice looking pizza, therefore proving it's superiority to other reviews. Not that my already superior opinion needs to be proven of it's superiority - but some people just need a reminder.
It was opening day, and we went and saw a movie called "Return of the King". Unlike all the other arrogant nerds proud to pick the movie apart because they left out the most insignificant details, I never read the books, and I likely never will! That puts me on the level of common everyday mainstream sheep, for if the Lord Of the Rings series didn't have such hype for it, I may not have seen it.
So, from a haven't-read-the-book perspective, how was the movie?
First, I have to be honest that I thought the first two in the series were just "really good", as opposed to "best movie ever" or "mention of the movie's name causes multiple orgasms". The third in the series, however, ripped my face off. Talk about climax.
So much CARNAGE!
As expected, there are battle scenes in this movie - and they are hands down the most in-yer-face army-versus-army battle scenes that I have ever seen. So much RAAAAWWWRRR! The kind of battle scenes that make you want to start a mosh pit even though there's not music. I've never seen a movie that makes me want to mosh like at a concert.
Frodo, Sam, and Gollum get closer and closer to Mt. Doom, and the closer they get, the more hopeless it seems. You know how it is, when the situation is like, "Man, there's just no WAY they can make it! Even though this is a movie, I'm going to go and bet my entire life savings on the demise of these hobbits!"
Mordor attacks. Other stuff happens. WHEE!
|Originality||Well, the series did spawn RPGs as we know them...||5|
|Effects/Presentation||Jaw-dropping scenes of DOOM!||5|
|Storyline||Good plot progression, great solution to it all!||4.5|
|Final Verdict: 4.67|