What do you get when you buy a house in New York where there is a room that is encased in steel and has thingys with TV MONITARS to watch your house? If you answered 'Orange Mushrooms,' you need to clip your toenails.
Ahh yes, the suspenseful thrillar. That means is isn't a comedy, for those who think Pluh is all about comedy. Okay, so it is - this movie is an oddball review, but I know you like balls, so you will reads it! HARH AHRARHRHARH!
My super-hot-honey and me were bored one day and decided to walk to the theater down the street to see a happy movie. Though I know she really wants to see that Britany Spears movie (HAHHAA), which I do want to see just to laugh at it profusely, we opted to check out Panic Room. Why? Simple formula for scary movies:
Though, I had a feeling the movie wouldn't be super scary, just full of jumpy things and stuff that makes you want to grabs your seat and think, "GRRDAAAHH!! STUPID THING THAT WILL KILL WORLD!" We watched stupid previews, which had nothing of interest, and SUPER SOUND SUBWOOFAR WOOFED LOW FREQUENCIES AND MOVIE START!
The opening credits were probably the coolest I've ever seen. You know, where it has peoples names and movie title? Yeah, instead of blah text fading in and out all blah-like, they rendered it to match the shading and lighting of buildings in the New York sun. They looked like all REAL and stuff. It really looked like "JODIE FOSTER" was suspended off the empire state building. It was very computar advanced cool WOW!
Anyhoo, the movie is basically this: Pissed off Ex-wife of rich guy who sleeps with younger chicks buys a neato house in New York with her daughter that rides stupid SCOOTER. I hate those damn scooters, every time I see a kid scootering down the street I want to explode them to death!
Err, the house has 4 floors or something, and to her surprise, there is a little room encased in super-thick-kill steel that has computar technology door with monitors and cameras around house. They call this the panic room, because when criminals break in, you PANIC and run to it and shut computar smart door and be safe. I would have named it, "Cool Computar Room with Thingys Room", Or "CCRWT ROOM!" YAY!
So after Jodie FOSTAR gets her things moved in, she falls asleep and... The BAD GUYS ENTAR! To spoil the movie, THERE IS A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION IN THE CCRWT ROOM AND THE WORLD IS KILLED! HAHAHAH!
Then, alien invadars that are skull shaped start to slowly descend to the earth, scooting from left to right slowly at first. Then, after you shoot them with your little shooter thing, they speed up and go really fast and OH NO DIE STUPID GUYS MY FINGARS CAN'T MOVE THAT FAST TO GET aLL OF YOU! Wait, that was Space Invaders, not PANIC ROOM with JODIE FOSTAR!
Well, let's see. Jodie FostAR did good for her part, I must say. She played actress role thingy well, like she always does. Like in TWISTAR! Then, her daughter did good too, though she was a little stuck up and dumb. AND she looked like Leonardo DiCaprio's little sister. YUCK FART TO THAT! Actually, she appeared more like his Twin, because DiCaprio is a girly man who is scrawny and STUPID TOO!
The villains were mean and stuff, and I didn't like them. Except that one guy, he was funnay! Then they did stuff to stuff, and there was a plot resolution. WHEE! I don't spoil movies, stupid!
Special effects were special. They had cool camera thingys that like WHOOSHED to one place, and WHOOSHED back, it was like a ROLLAR COSTAR RIDE! I liked it when there was thing part going through the vents, and feathers were in the air! BETTER THAN STAR WARS! Um...you know how in scary movies, the characters always do stupid stuff?
Hot Chick: Oh no! I'm being chased by a bad guy with evil intentions to stabs me!
Hot Chick's Brain: Okay, now we have to get away from the bad guy, so don't run in his direction!
Hot Chick: Oh no, I'm starting to run towards him!
Hot Chick's Brain: STUPID! Turn back around!
Hot Chick: YAY! I'm going to die!
In PANIC ROOM, JODIE FOSTAR is SMART! She does smart things to not get killed, and doesn't make you go, "STUPID JODIE FOSTAR!" So you are happy with the movie, and that makes it good!
It was a good movie. If you like movies that are not super funny, but are still good, go see this one. You'll have HAPPY TIMES!
|Originality||Pretty cool orignal happy idea!||4|
|Acting||Good acting! I believed FOSTAR!||4.5|
|Soundtrack||Scary and ambient!||4|
|Effects/Presentation||This gets a '5' because of the opening credits!||5|
|Storyline||Cool thangs from left to right!||4.5|
|Final Verdict: 4.4|