Bond! Not like bonding glue, or the stuff that bonds dentures to your gums, but Secret Agent 007 BOND! Does the latest live up to the series or will it be assassinated by RAWRB?!

Casino Royale was badass. I could watch that movie over and over again to see those round, curvy action sequences and hot, juicy chase scenes. But what about the followup, Quantum of Solice?

Quantum of Director Change!

Can't exactly lie here - this one doesn't live up to Casino Royale. They changed directors (which is something I disagree with when doing direct sequels) and had a lot of shaky cam stuff during the action sequences. That causes me to feel like there's an earthquake instead of a chase scene! Quantum of Shakeycam!

The opening sequence was a crazy car chase which left me wondering what the hell was really happening, then... you're kind of shocked into the traditional opening song which was "performed" by Alicia Keys.

YAR!
I like my sex shaken, not stirred.

You know, I'm okay with diversity on stuff but this time around, Alicia Keys CANNOT follow Chris Cornell. Casino Royale's opening sequence was not only fun to watch but also rocked your ears with Cornell's trademark vocal style. Alicia Keys had a weird doubling part that... just didn't fit. I don't know. The effects on the opening animation was all cool and stuff. I guess. Maybe if Psychostick played a song it would be awesome SHUT UP

PLART! CAWRST!

I don't care what sort of stupid Bond elitists think - Daniel Craig is a badass Bond. I actually prefer him over Pierce Brosnan. Craig just plays a tougher, more ballsy Bond. Brosnan kinda looks fragile or something, I dunno. The Bond Jerks out there think that Craig t'aint no good due to him being "blonde" and not "tall, dark, handsome" or whatever.

They're stupid.

BAWRND
Stupid sand in genitals. That's why they're pissed!

Of course, the Bond girls make appearances. I wanted to see Bond pick up chicks a bit more but that didn't happen as often as Royale. Boo. Instead he decided to "kill people" and "blow shit up" instead. Har har.

All in all, good movie! Not great. I highly recommend seeing it if you like good movies with shit blowing up and pretty girls. If you don't like those things, you'd probably be into My Little Pony's Adventures 2: Pink Shit Everywhere.

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Originality Secret Agent trying to do stuff! 3.5
Acting Daniel Craig is an excellent bond. The rest of the cast did so good! 4.5
Soundtrack That Alicia Keys song was horrible. Bring back Chris Cornell! 3
Effects/Presentation Very well done. 4
Storyline Picks up where Casino Royale left off. Good followup, just not great. 4
Bond Girls Olga is pretty. So is Fields. I want fields of Olga. 4
Final Verdict: 3.83

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

(Guest) says in non-morse code:

Smilie!Good job, Robby!
December 3rd 2008, 9:09 PM

Rawrb conveys:

Smilie!Rawrb writes reviews all sexy like!
November 20th 2008, 11:51 PM
Desert secks!
POASTAWR
Creepy bad guy!
He was in FIRST MOOVAY
Tuxfaces!
Bad guyzz
Mum!
Natrual Redhead?
Shoot first, eat second!
Daniel Craig face!
America's Bond?
Photo op!
Talking about acting!?
Bond likes redheads.
Whee!
Kill!
I saw you all nekkid in Hitman.
Dirty girl.
Olga is WET! HAR HAR VAG