Hannibal Lecter! Err...LECTAR! Yes, teh prequel to Silence of the Lambs (called Red Dragon) is out and about, with lots of crazy and blarg! Do you fear being eaten? Do you jump at crazy surprising thingys? SHUT UP!

Anyone who enjoys a good scare (err, outside of reality) has probably seen Silence of the Lambs. The insane tactfulness of Hannibal Lecter, played by the brilliant Anthony Hopkins, made the majority of us soil our pants with uneasyness. I mean, the thought of some dude eating people is rather creepy. No, I'm not talking about some dumb porno where teh big boobay'd chick says, "Eat me! Eat me!" STUPID! I talks about cannibalism thangs, where one person sees anothar and somehow sees them on a silver platter with an apple in their mouth, roasting in teh oven for CONSUMING! YUUM!

Flesh != Cookie

Strangely, Silence of the Lambs was released a while ago, where Anthony Hopkins was youngar looking. Several years latar, the sequel, titled Hannibal, was released. This was ohh, two years ago? Wow times flies.

So, on a special Saturday afternoon, The Boy, Tonay, and Brotha V and I went to see the movie entitled, "Red Dragon!" FART!

Anyhoo, Red Dragon starts of before old Hannibal met Clarise (I probably screwed up her name, yay!), when he was a free man getting away with a lot of human based comsumption. Will Graham, played by Edward Norton, is an FBI agent who is investigating the odd slaughtering of certain peoples who are no longer being alive for some reason. He begins to discover that the killer is EATING them.

He ends up speaking to Hannibal for advice, and somehow discovers that old Lecter was up to it all, and nearly kills Will with much ouch. Then, the real story begins, which invloves some really brutal murdars from a guy that is...a little "lost," so to speak.

"Woa woa WOA there Kayn," You whine, "That was a spoiler. You bastard!" Ahhh, I disagree. Yahoo also tells you pretty much teh same thing, LOOK! Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Sorry about that Kayn," you say, "I apologize like a little stupid person." It's cool. Ain't no thang.

"I'm a very hot femail with BOOBAYS, and I will shares them with you now!" You say, revealing boobays! Hurray! I'm happy!

Somewhat Hot Blind Chick = YAY!

This particular movie...is scary. Well, maybe not just scary. Just TENSE. The music really sets the mood for the film as the plot carries out. It's just EERIE! I often found myself fidgeting in my seat as Edward Norton would be investigating something, and the music would be all, "Whoooeeeoooo!" And then, STUFF! I jumped a couple times, and I'm kinda tough to scare. Yay!

The performances from the many actors (Anthony Hopkins, Edward Norton, Ralph Fiennes, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Harvey Keitel, Anthony Heald, Emily Watson, Mary-Louise Parker and Ken Leung) were very well executed, and they get my supar Pluh props!

Hannibal was super creepy as usual, as his presence still had that, "Gee, he's so damn smart, and so damn sick! What if he somehow figures out how to come out of teh movie screen and EATS ME DEAD!" feeling to him. He always seemed a step ahead of them all, and that just made it creepier.

Edward Norton does a magnificent job as well, which wasn't any surprise. His roles in Fight Club and American History X set the stage for him, it would seem, and I was rather impressed with how he did here. Shit, every damn actor/actress did a flawless job in their parts. They get a bloody OSC-AR from me, even though I really don't have any say in all that jazzar!

Shut up so I can go see teh Moovay!

Here's the conclusion folks: If you like to get the jitters, like to see some blood, or just plain like a great movie, go see Red Dragon. It's probably be a good date movie too, though I haven't had the chance to prove this *insert painful whimper here*.

I ate Bacon Cheesburger!


Category Comment Rating
Originality Well, it's evil! 4.5
Acting Chuh-ching! 5
Soundtrack So much uneasy-ness! 4.5
Effects/Presentation BLOOOD! 5
Storyline Keeps you guessing! 5
Final Verdict: 4.8


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Jezman (Guest) yammers:

Smilie!Dudes! love the web-page! You guys are so kooky. Anyways, has any one seen "The Ring" Now that's an original film.

Super (Guest) un-shut-ups:

Smilie!It's a remake! Of Manhunter! Yay!

Teh Hannibal (Guest) discharges:

Smilie!So Kayn, you liked teh movie? Perhaps we should discuss it over dinner... say, YOU?!? HARH AHARHARARAJRHAHATHATHATAGAJL;KASDJF!!!!!111 I HUNGRY NOW!
Cross line = you die!
'Enough air in there?' No.
Mom and Kid! It are like, stuff!
'I have an itch on my nose!'
I want to bang, he thinks!
Even evil geniuses need REST!
Mirror mirror on teh wall, who are teh evilest one evar?!
'What?! I have a TATOO on my back?!'
She can't see teh carnage!
Sugar! It's on the table!
She like to pet teh kitty! Heh heh!