Well, much waiting. Actually, NOTHING BUT WAITING. STUPID! After the somewhat good, yet vividly attrocious Episode I, CAPTAIN GEORGE LUCAS steps forward with a sequal prequal! OOH!
Star Wars. It's old and new, and it's one of those things that almost everyone likes. The original trilogy was something along the lines of, errhm, groundbreaking. Nearly every critic who has reviewed any Star Wars movie, usually farts on it and EATS IT LIKE A PIECE OF GORF!
I just want to remind all of you that I'm not one of those critics. I'm not one of those goobars that sit there and go, "Two Thumbs Up!" and "5 Moons! I mean, STARS!" I think those guys are DUMB. They make a living by putting their boogars on movies that they dislike, and that is stupid. So, I review this movie as a Star Wars fan, and not a guy who is a movie critic guy person.
So, this is like 10 years after Episode One. Palpatine is the head guy at the Republic Senate. Obi-Wan grew a beard, but it's not all GREY and stuff like when he's oldar. Anakin (Annie for short, like a FEMAIL, HA HA HA) is now older and has been trained in teh Jedi ways. In other words, 10 years have passed, and things have changed! OOOH!
So, are you thinking, "Is it a STAR WARS MOVIE KAYN?!"
No, it's not a Star Wars Movie Kayn. It's a Star Wars Movie. Mostly. Allow me to explain.
Blasters, Transports, and Light Sabers are existent. All the sounds, aliens, and soundtrack were there. At most points, the movie felt like Star Wars. I wanted to wield a Light Sabar and kill bad things. I wanted to hop around with the force and force things around using this force thing, thus I would forcefully use the force for forceful type things. WITH THE FORCE! Yeah. So, there you go.
"What...this is Star Shit, not Star Wars!" - Joebob
The movie has a lot of good things going for it. Effects, Jar Jar's very much briefness, presentation, the most of the storyline. However, there are many small things that become tumor like in a cancerous cell that is mutated.
First and foremost, the dialouge is rather bad. Well, okay, in my opinion, the Anakin/Amidala love crap is executed rather bad. His pickup lines were rather...poop. I often found myself laughing at moments where you shouldn't laugh. These were mostly the love scenes. It's a love story, right? Well, compared to the Leia/Han love stuff, it stanks a lot.
In a nutshelly thing, the acting was well executed, but the writing was below par. The only thing that put this movie in the theaters, IMO, is the fact that it's Star Wars and it's guaranteed to make money. Stupid money!
There's really not much more to say, except this: If you are a Star Wars fayunn, you'll like it. If you aren't a Star Wars fan, avoid this movie at all costs. (That was fer mah honey thang, heh heh)
|Originality||Star Wars is as original as you can get.||4.5|
|Soundtrack||Cool Star Wars shit!||4.5|
|Effects/Presentation||Wow. Very much wow!||5|
|Storyline||Well, it could be worse...I mean, Jar Jar could have found a girlfriend.||3|
|Lack of Jar-Jar||He still made an appearance, which is why this ain't a 5.||4.5|
|Final Verdict: 4.08|