The creators of the "smash hits" known as "The Fast and the Furious" and it's cleverly named sequel, "2 Fast 2 Furious," bring to us the motorcycle drama/racing/crapfest known as "Torque."
Gawkman appears in images somehow!
I'm not a racing nut. In fact, I don't give two shits about NASCAR or some racing derby stuff. I would rather have two slinkies racing down my stairsteps than go to the nearest race-a-thon where fat bald guys drink beer and lose their hearing from the overly loud cars exploding into each other.
Yeah, that's me. But I had to see Torque. HAD to. There was no question. Ever since I saw the preview, there was so much potential for laughs... probably because I laughed my ass off at the preview itself. There's a great deal of dumb compressed into this movie, and elaboration is at hand!
Plot: The "hero" returns from Thailand after evading some drug guys that had him hold some bikes containing crystal methane. DRUGS! The bad guys find the hero, and tough-guy heckling starts occuring. "Give me my bikes or I'll look very angry at you!"
The bad guys' rival biker gang (I can't remember their name - the Goats or something), with actor Ice Cube (or as Gawkman and I dubbed him, "scrunchy-face"), also stirs up trouble for the hero when he gets framed for MURDAR! This gang, complete with nowaday's socially acceptable racial slurs against white folk, oppose the hero until a "plot twist" occurs. Yeah, that was a spoiler. Not that you're gonna care, trust me.
But it certainly doesn't stop there.
Throughout the movie, you'll come across a ton of overly ridiculous (as well as utterly stupid) scenes within. These include (but are not limited to):
And that's Torque. It sucks. It really sucks. The acting, the plot, the characters - everything. SUCK. See this only to laugh, and nothing more.
|Originality||This has definately been done, and much better.||-1.5|
|Acting||Some of the worst I've seen in the theater.||-3|
|Soundtrack||Has some "heavy" stuff, but most of it is trendy radio crap.||-0.5|
|Dancing, water-soaked chicks||Best part of movie, still not that great.||1|
|Final Verdict: -1.5|