Even though this bitch was released a few months ago, it's still extremely popular and will probably continue to hold the massive popularity from the original Diablo series. Does Kayn like it that much? Can he pull himself away from the computer to give his GirlFriend a little affection? What would be the point? *runs*

First and foremost. This game was around fifty years in the making. Though this doesn't really mean anything *cough* DUKE FOREVER *cough, hack, phlem*, the game itself with it's addicting gravitational pull will keep you glued to your chair and your stomach churning for more blood.

Let's say, for a second, that this game influences people. We'll follow LEIBARMAN's beliefs for a brief, humor-filled moment.

Diablo II: 'The barbarian hacks and slashes through a horde of Gargantuan Beasts.'
Me: 'The Kayn hacks and slashes his way through a freshly tossed chef salad.'

Diablo II: 'The Necromancer gives orders to it's group of skeletal warriors.
Me: 'The Kayn gives orders to Gawkman to get back in the bathroom and scrub his stains off the toilet.'

Diablo II: 'The Amazon changes armor.'

Diablo II, in a summarized sentence, is a game. Woa, that was summarized. Wasn't it? YEAH!

Actually, it's more than JUST a game. It's a LONG game. Long, detailed, HARD, and full of replay. That means you can play it more than once and actually get enjoyment out of it. That's what games that take so damn long to make need; REPLAY! And that in itself, along with battle.net, is what makes this game another once of Kayn's favorites.

Graphically, Diablo II doesn't deliver anything groundbreakingly (uhh) new. The Direct 3d stuff makes it seem like obstacles are jumping out at you, and the kickass lighting effect give it that gloomy feel. Yeah, that feeling you get when you see Richard Simmons teaching that oldies crap. Of course, that's a whole other type of gloomy.

One thing I must point out though is that the cinematics are ASTOUNDING. Well directed and artistically mastered, the CG sequences make you feel as if you're really a part of the storyline. If anything, the eye candy and excellent voice acting kinda makes you wish that Blizzard would allow an actual, Theatrical Diablo movie. Maybe so?

Sounds are crisp and unique. Sometimes, however, the same old sounds of your weapon swinging and the distinct noises of the enemy get old. Even annoying. What can you do when 37 fetishes run up behind you? And the music, though nothing special, retains that old Diablo feel. That's what we all want too.

Bad things? Um...battle.net is a little on the laggy side. Once you connect, sometimes a server will work, sometimes it won't. I actually made a few attempts to start a game of my own, only to find that no one would join me in my quest and/or experience building. 'Twas a task:

Welcome to Battle.net Kayn...
Kayn, "Hey, anyone here up for a game?"
BLUDWHORE_5, "Haha, then I told her dumb ass to go back to the doctor and have it pulled out."
SUK_M3_D0WN, "n e 1 up for cyb3rl0v3??"
rayth, "haha then i got the ultimate weapan andn then i saw the bad guys and then i killed the enemies after i walked out of the cave and saw a bigger diablo guy and she was mean so i then killed him with juust my new axe mage ninja star and it was really cool hhaha i bet you couldnt do that becayse you suck ass and oh shit i gotta go i have homework thanks bye"
There you have it. Diablo II. It's cool. If you don't have it, go get it. Then buy some cookies, because cookies are good.


Category Comment Rating
Gameplay Super happy kill bloood! Must kill everything I see...save earth... 4.5
Graphics Cool sprite thingys, smooth animations, very detailed! 4.5
Music/Sound Hurray for violent bone crushing, flesh searing sounds! Hurray for ambient music! 4.5
Replay Value Must beat game with all classes... 5
Originality Diablo is it's own game. Period. 4.5
Final Verdict: 4.6


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

johnjohn (Guest) pizzas:

Smilie!na played better

Shafty forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!This may be one of the all-time great gaming revoows. Besides, this might mark the first appearance of TEHPOSERMAN. Kinda like the first apperance of Superman in Action Comics or something. Sort of. With plenty of milk.
Look at all the STUFF I get to play wif!
It's that hooded guy!
Slayin' the bitches.
Wowie! Effects!
Outar SPACE!
'Scuse me.