No! STUPID FEMININITY! Can it get any more worser?! I want to make a collect call now! QUIT LOOKING SO DAMN GOOD!
Damnit, every time I think about doing a new pluhbabe review, the first thing that pops up in my brain is, "What was the name of that Eva Savealot Chick? She definately hot, and should very promptly become a pluhbabe."
I couldn't ever remember her name. And as I'm listening to Glassjaw, her name suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Glassjaw, of all bands. If you know who they are, trust me, hot chicks are really the last thing on your mind...
For those who don't know who she is, look back into the mid 80s and early 90s as she was on Who's the Boss (I think), that show being her debut appearance. Of course, she was a little girl on that show. After Who's the Boss was cancelled, I think she went into some strange hybernation/incubation where she suddenly became a 100% genuine hottie.
Horny Scientist: Hey! Let's put the little girl Alyssa Milano in our Supreme Hottie Creator Chamber for the positive purpose of b00bage and being the biggest tease of all time!
Assistant: But sir, according to human nature, her estrogenic hormonal glands will kick in and the b00bage will come in due time.
Horny Scientist: Shut the f*ck up! (dropping pants) I'm the damn scientist here! There's no time for stupid hormonal glands! Now Britanny Spears is about to emerge from her chamber. Have we added her 'stupid pop-crap with a pretty face' injection?
Since Miss Milano's transformation, she has appeared on a few syndicated shows, such as Melrose Place, some other show, and that stupid witch show on the WB. Why do I say stupid?
Because it's the stupidest crap I've ever seen.
Now, still on that stupid witch show, she's doing commercials for 1-800-collect as 'Eva Savealot.' Her role in this is quite simple, and 100 times better than that gimpy ass triple witch show.
1. Some idiot can't find a quarter.
2. She appears in a tight outfit, thus making all males in the area fall prey to her b00bage.
3. She explains 1-800-collect to the idiot.
4. Commercial punchline
I'm not going to question why there would really be some hottie running around wasting her time on idiots without change, but that's show business for you.
Anyway, this is not a negative review. I'm just taking out my miniflu crap on the poor text editor here. 389q2ueawnkerad543w32412398 - SEE?
Here's my interview with her, op8i23u7203orujois:
Me: ...so then I got back in my car and drove off.
Alyssa: Can't find 35 cents? Dial 1-800-collect, and you'll be very sati--
Me: That's the 5th time now! I'm on my phone at home talking to you!
Alyssa: Sorry. But don't make me angry, I'll put a hex on you.
Me: A what?
Alyssa: A Hex.
Alyssa: No stupid. A HEX. A curse, a spell. Like I do on my cool hip witch show on the WB.
Me: Oh. Sorry, I never watch it. I think it sucks.
Alyssa: ...can't find 35 cents? Dial 1-800-Collect, (seductive) and you won't regret it.
Me: I'll only dial that number if the keypad is on your chest.
Alyssa: Oh very funny. And I imagine you want to dial it with your 11th finger, right?
Me: Hey, how'd you know?
Alyssa: You think you're the first idiot who says that crap to me?
|Boobays/GUUUH!||Super happy boobies of happy!||4.5|
|Ass/GARF!||jdsafhp9q283y4q23j stupid crap she does on TV.||5|
|Smile/Face||Looks evil at times. Is that good?||4.5|
|Personality||She's on the WB for God's sake! EWW!||4|
|Final Verdict: 4.6|