Did you know that, in ye Olde English, the word "Judd" actually means "pitifully wretched country music?" Or so I've heard. Shafty knows teh nothing about country music. Shafty cares not to know about country music. Due to Shafty's decidedly anti-country music slant, Ashley Judd passed under Shafty's Pluhbabe radar for quite some time. NO LONGER!! Pluhbabe, thy name art Ashley Judd!

Gawkman says his brain functions not, and he can't think to write his Pluhbabe review. Let us all taunt him incessantly!!! TAUNT TAUNT TAUN!!! YER DUMB!! Hehe, silly Gawkman. Pluhbabe reviews require no thinking, just drooling on one's keyboard (causing same keyboard to short out thereby causing typos such as(l.aasd;l kitujaopissstoasda90 8p3271552390588uujifuFF{}:":" :"!@#$%^&*(FF{"!!!1.

In 1995, the greatest movie ever was released: Heat. With De Niro AND Pacino. AND Ashley Judd. I remember watching the credits scroll, and thinking, "Hmmm. Ashley JUDD? As in...? Well, at least she can act, and has nice JUDDS." Heh heh. Turns out she isn't one of the singing Judds. That's her sister, not her. Yer.

Ashley's aforementioned JUDDS led one Shafty to also peruse Double Jeopardy, which was otherwise forgettable. THEN... although she had previously turned down a role in "Kuffs" because of a requisite nude scene, she TOOK IT ALL OFF!!!!11 in the HBO movie "Norma Jean and Marilyn," in which she portrayed a young Marilyn Monroe. GAWK at that, MAN, and your non-functional brain shall turn to mush. Teh!

Um, more about Ashley Judd: She aer hott. She likes to wear no bra. A few years ago, she came to the Emmy awards, or SAG awards, or Grammies... who cares, they're all the same. But she forgots to wear teh panties, and her dress was strategically cut to have a long slit, all the way up, IN FRONT. Guess she didn't plan on winning an award, which would require her to take really long strides in front of national television in aforementioned gown. She figured wrong. In scanning the Internet for appropriate pictures to accompany this review, Shafty saw that EVRY Judd site hosted THAT VIDEO CLIP. *double-checks spelling*

Which gives rise to downside #1: Has now shown everything she has. Have to take off a few Pluhpoints for lack of suspense. Downside #2: She's too skinny sometimes. Not in Heat or "Norma...," though. Downside #3: She's starting to show up in more and more romantic comedies. D'oh! Downside #4: She got married recently. But she's still very very Pluhworthy ("humpable," in Kaynese). So, before I load up all of your brains with so much information that they all shut down like Gawkman's (TAUNT!), on with the phony dialogue:

Me: Thank you for taking the time to sit down for this Pluh.communication session.
Ashley Judd: Um, err, okay. You aren't from Entertainment magazine?
Me: Umm, no. Did I say that?
Ashley Judd: Yes, you did. You lied to get this interview!
Me: So are you honored to be named Pluhbabe of the bi-month?
Ashley Judd: I can't believe you lied to me! Wait, what did you say?
Me: You have been named Pluhbabe of the bi-month. Are you, heh, bi-curious about that?
Ashley Judd: Oh, now you're just being gross and childish.
Me: I am not. YOU'RE being childish. Gawkman's brain doesn't work, haha!
Ashley Judd: Are we done here? This was a waste of my time.
Me: I guess you don't want the Shaftywarmth, then?
Ashley Judd: The Shaftywarmth? Whatever. I'm a married woman, Shafty.
Me: Yeah, I heard that. To that, um, racing car driver guy, right?
Ashley Judd: His NAME is Dario... And what's wrong with being a race car driver?
Me: Oh, uhh, nothing. Except that... you know what they say about guys who have to drive fast cars... you know, that they're, ahem, "compensating" for something else...
Ashley Judd: I HAD heard that. Why, what kind of car do YOU drive?
Me: Beat-up old green pickup truck.
Ashley Judd: Oh wow... cheap P.O.S. car must mean... TAKE ME NOW SHAFTY!! GIVE ME TEH SHAFTYWARMTH!!!!111

Yer.

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Boobays/GUUUH! She hath shown her boobiesz, meriting extra Pluhpoints. 4.5
Ass/GARF! Shafty never noticed teh ass. *imagines what it must look like* Yer. 4
Smile/Face Unique face, very purdy indeed. 4.5
Personality Not one of teh Singing Judds. Yay! 5
Bang Factor Very humpable, in Kaynese. Downside: Outside of made-up dialogue, she probably does not want teh Shaftywarmth. Boo. 5
0
Final Verdict: 4.6

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Rawrb excretes:

Smilie!I also learned how to throw fireballs out of my nostrils. Makes chicken tasty!

Shafty discharges:

Smilie!But... she SAID she was! You don't mean to say that people make stuff up on the Internet, do you?In related news, Shafty had tons of hott secks with pr0n starrz all nights long lasts night! <--- TRUE I REALLY MEAN IT!@

Rawrb forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!She's not your relative. Stupid!

Shafty says in non-morse code:

Smilie!Hey, go tell your "relative" Ashley to pay us a visit. She could be the first in a new set of celebrity interviews we're about to start doing! Have her e-mail me at shafty@pluh.com.

Amanda Judd (Guest) forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!I wouln't recomend talking of about my relatives. Yes the Judd's are talanted in thiere different ways, but don't go and ruin it for us.Some people just don't listin.
-Amanda Judd

Frodo Baggins (Guest) communicates:

Smilie!You dirty ol' perve Bilbo!

But pw34r boobyas all the same1111one!

Bilbo Baggins (Guest) verbalizes:

Smilie!OMG!1111ONE!

PW34R!! BOOBAYS!!
Another nightie shot
DO YOU NEEDS TEH HALP WIT TAHT?
Either she aer magical or she has teh strong leg muskels... either si good
If you DO NOT want teh Shaftywarmth, raise your hands!
OK, I pick HER for my team. Ya'll can be SHIRTS, we'll be SKINS.
Silly gurl! You cant really suck taht fish thru taht straw... can you?
Standard Nightie Shot
Such thin straps holding so much weight... break damn you break!