Good ol' Gawkman (or something) finds a little flower chick on the internet. Gee, how many times can a human being find someone like this? Oh, pretty much NEVER! Read on to see why BECKIE! is just a mega-uber-pluhbabe, to us, and to you. Yer.

Okay Pluhpeepz, this Pluhbabe is going to be a little different. She is not a pop singer with a platinum album. She does not play a hot role in a popular movie. She does not star in a well-watched sitcom. She is normal, just like you and I. She goes to school; she hangs out with friends. She listens to music; she goes to concerts. Still, she is unattainable.

Who is she? Well, since I'm tired of using the pronoun "she", I will tell you. Her name is BECKIE! I stumbled across BECKIE!'s website while looking for pics for what was going to be this Pluhbabe review (she is being pushed back a week or two, heh). I had found a link to various "webcam babes". WTF? Upon reading, I discovered that a "webcam babe" is a female (usually attractive) who places a video streaming camera on top of her monitor, in her room, at work, in the bathroom, etc. The camera is always on, so you can look into their room and see what they are doing at anytime if they are present or not.

"hi youare verie butifel, wil you mov to italy so i can mary you"

And her response tends to be something along the lines of:

"Uh, no."

I would imagine that BECKIE! is probably constantly flooded with messages all the time, so it's probably hard to get her attention there as well. If I was able to chat with her on ICQ, our conversation might sound a little something like this:

Gawkman: Hey Pluhbabe, how are you doin?
BECKIE!: Oh, you must be the one that wrote me that email about greenbeans!
Gawkman: Yes. Yes I did.
BECKIE!: I read your Pluhbabe review of me; it was quite good.
Gawkman: Well thanks, I... hey, wait a minute. How is that possible? I'm in the process of writing that review as we speak!
BECKIE!: Because this is a made up conversation, Spanky.
Gawkman: Ah, once again, reality slaps me in the face. So you wanna get married?
BECKIE!: Uh, no.
Gawkman: Even my own fantasies are against me.
BECKIE!: BTW, quit spelling my name in all caps like that.
Gawkman: Anything you say. So what did you think of the review?
Beckie: I love the way you make conclusions about me based solely on my physical appearance and interests, that always works out so well!
Gawkman: Um, aren't most women kinda hacked when someone does that?
Beckie: This is still your fantasy, remember?
Gawkman: Yer.

So, what makes BECKIE!, I mean Beckie so important? She is there to remind us that getting the girl of our dreams is not impossible, only improbable. The right girl is out there, and sooner or later you will find her. When you do, she will probably already have a boyfriend. In the meantime, go for that one girl that likes you, you probably have a much better chance.

There were plenty of these links, with a pic and description of the girl on each one. I scrolled for a while till one in particular caught my eye. She wan't in a seductive or erotic pose like the rest, but had a simple pic that said, "Hi. My name is BECKY!."

There were plenty of these links, with a pic and description of the girl on each one. I scrolled for a while till one in particular caught my eye. She wan't in a seductive or erotic pose like the rest, but had a simple pic that said, "Hi. My name is BECKY!."

I went to her webpage to find out more about her. Although she wasn't in her room where the webcam was placed, I found some pics of her and discovered that BECKIE! was not only pretty like in the pic I saw on the link, but absolutely beautifastoundingorgeoustunning! As I read her interests and things of the like it dawned on me: BECKIE! was Pluhbabe-worthy! 

Here's why BECKIE! deserves to be a Pluhbabe. Besides being absolutely beautifastoundingorgeoustunning, she is hella cool. BECKIE! enjoys a good selection of tunes including but not limited to Limp Bizkit, P.O.D., Korn, hardcore, rapcore, punk, and other stuff-that's- not-really-considered-heavy-but-who-cares-because-she-likes-heavy-stuff.

Her site gets easily 5,000+ hits a day, so she obviously gets countless emails from dumbasses (like me) who say stuff like:

(part of this review was lost in a database crash. Feel angar! - Kayn)

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Boobays/GUUUH! No good view of them, but they are probably nice. 4
Ass/GARF! The same holds true here, too. 4
Smile/Face Doesn't get much better than this. 5
Personality She's COOL! 4.5
Bang Factor You know it. 4
0
Final Verdict: 4.3

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Jimmy yammers:

Smilie!hahahahahaha

Pain in my anus (Guest) jabbers:

Smilie!FFS cab'nt you get some aerosol in here?

Rawrb excretes:

Smilie!This review has pieces missing! Mr. Teh had a snack!
"I feel pretty..."
Pluh.
Get that crumb off your shirt, she's looking!
Look! Hah, made you look.
I wish she was thinking about me...
Avert your eyes before it's too late!
No, these pics aren't in 3d =(
"In your face, Britney Spears!"