Have we ever review'd a mediocre Pluhbabe? Is that an oxymoron? SHUT UP! You have some attitude. I don't care if you were dropped down the stairs as a baby, you get no sympathy. Hey, if you're going to look at me like that, I'm gonna just remove my belt and...
Well, old Bones has to do college thangs. COLLEGE! Okay, in one hand, you have College. In the other, you have Pluh.com - gee, come on Bones, what's more important here! Ha ha, that are funny.
I think I should quit giving poor old Bones a hard time about his educational duties. YER DUMB BONES! WILL YUO EVAR GET TEH COLLAGE CHICKS!? EVIN TEH HIGH SCHOOL GIRL ALL THINK YUO AER DUMB! Oops again. Teehee.
So anyhoo, here we have Cameron Diaz. Some of you may already know who she is. Some of you think she's hotter than a flapjack stuck on the ceiling, and suddenly you fall down and OH MY GOD LOOK OUT! The reverse-pig of death has appeared above you, snarling and saying random Full House quotes! The torture! You suddenly come to your senses, grab the nearest cabbage leaf, and attack!
*Dragon Warrior Battle Music*
You have encoutered Death Pig. Command? *beep*
You attack! *krrsh krsh krerrsh* A deadly swing! 2 damage.
Death Pig chants Poo! *nah-nih-nah-nih-nah-nuh-ni* You receive 12 damage!
You attack! *deedledoo* Death Pig dodges!
Death Pig chants Poomore! *nah-nih-nah-nih-nah-nuh-ni* You receive 45 damage!
You run away! *blicka blicka blicka* But your path is blocked!
Death pig chants Morph! *nah-nih-nah-nih-nah-nuh-ni* Death Pig changes into Cameron Diaz!
You flirt! *deedledoo* Cameron Diaz dodges!
Cameron Diaz chants Boobs Of Death! *nah-nih-nah-nih-nah-nuh-ni* You receive 999 damage!
You have died. *sad sympathy music*
Okay. So here we are, Cameron Diaz. I really don't know a whole lot about her acting background, but the very first movie I saw her in was The Mask. Yeah, Jim Carrey. SHABOING! Holy MOTHER OF @##* - she was SUPER-GODDESS-HOT! She had the legs, the hips, the ass, the...teeth - EVERYTHING. I think I was thrown out of the theater after humping the screen (one boob at that time was about 30 feet in diameter there).
I think there were a couple of movies with her not long thereafter. Then came the movie, Something About Mary.
I believe the title, "Something About Cameron Diaz Being Too Thin and Pie" would fit the bill. I threw in pie for good measure. Mmm...measure...
Okay, I don't know if I was the only one that noticed, but she got REALLY thin. Too thin. Some guys like their ladies thin as paper, but I do not. I can't stand 90% of those supermodels that walk the runway (I think they're about to fall over because the air-conditioner breeze will blow them away). There's just gotta be something there. No, no, I'm not talking about FAT, I'm talking about a little meat on the Bones (HAHA! He has school work to do!), y'know? She looked so damn good in the Mask, then she trimmed her hair (had that bowl lookin' hair that I dislike), lost too much weight, and...stuff. So what? I haven't seen her recently, but chances are she's still not that hot Mask chick I once remembered. Ahh well.
Well, she's still fairly hot. Not as hot, but yeah. What? It's that time? Alright.
Cameron Diaz: Hey Kayn, what the hell was that shit up there with "Death Pig?"
Kayn: Nothing, just a video game nerd thi--
Cameron: Were you calling me FAT? Like a PIG?
Kayn: Well no, you're actually quite the opposite of fat. You're thin.
Cameron: Really? You mean it?
Kayn: Well yeah, bu--
Cameron: You're so sweet for calling me the opposite of fat!
Kayn: Your welcome. But there's an underlying problem with thi--
Cameron: I mean, I was FAT in the Mask. I think I'm still fat. Look! There's still SKIN on these bones!
Kayn: Bones. HAHA! HE HAD TO DO SCHOOLY NERDY THINGS!
Cameron: What did you say? You want to bone me?
Kayn: Heh, sure. But only if you eat this pizza.
Cameron: Pizza, eh? No way, it'll make me fat. I'm already too fat! LOOK! My ribs aren't poking out enough - the skin hasn't quite gone around there yet. See, there's the femur here, and the tibula here and the--
Kayn: Ahh screw it. We can get it on if you put on the Mask movie, and pause it where the camera pans up your legs after you enter that bank.
Cameron: Okay. YAY! I didn't scare you off!
Kayn: Less talk. More bang.
|Boobays/GUUUH!||Boobies are nice, very nice.||4.5|
|Ass/GARF!||Okay. Needs more OOPHM in dat ass.||3|
|Personality||Happy. She are the happy.||4|
|Bang Factor||YEAH! PUT IT IN!||3.5|
|Final Verdict: 3.8|