TheGawkster attacks a new form of Pluhbabe: A METAL BAND! No, he's not gay; the band is a chick band. And as strange as this sounds, they're attractive. Yes, attractive metal females do exist. Read to see!

METAL CHICKS! I didn't know they existed in such Pluhbabe-worthy form, but I found them, nonetheless. Do you know where? Sweden! That's where they are from. What a victory for the underground metal scene. Combining heavy riffs with melodic vocals, they-- *hits head with sledgehammer* NO, NO, this is NOT a band review, it's a Pluhbabe review. Pluhbabe. Pluhbabe. Okay, there we go. Who are we talking about? Well, we're talking about an all-girls band called "Drain S.T.H." . They are heavy, and they are attractive.

Really, this is a truly great find. They are not popular because they are attractive, though they are, and they are not popular because they are trendy, and they aren't. Screw Britney Spears (no dirty thoughts now), I want Asinine to tour with these gals. Of course, they have to finish their Ozzfest tour, first.

Like I said before, Drain S.T.H. (I'm not sure what the "S.T.H." means. "Some Throbbing Head" maybe? Heh.) is an all-female gothish-metal band from out of Sweden, which is the same country that gave us Meshuggah, I believe. You would think that an all female band could be so heavy, or that it would sound cheesy, but they do not. The heaviness somewhat reminds me of VOD's first album-- *slams own head in car door multiple times* THIS IS NOT A METAL REVIEW! *sticks fork into power outlet* THIS IS NOT A BAND REVIEW! *listens to NSync* THIS IS A PLUHBABE REVIEW!

Okay, I think I have that out of my system Of a Down, I mean system once again. Well, I could have done a band review on them, but that's already been done, and no one ever has really mentioned how attractive they are. You really do get the best of both worlds though, because unlike Britney Spears, Ricky Martin, or any of those Boys 2 Men wannabes, they're music is what they are known for. The attractiveness is a bone, er, bonus.

"But Gawkman, what about No Doubts singer, or Human Waste Projects singer, or...."

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Notice you said "singer". When each of these females you mentioned, uh, stand alone, they are okay. But if you made a band of four of these, and on top of that, had them play boobs-- I mean, balls-out heavy music, the result is more than noteworthy (no pun intended).

The band is:

  • Maria Sjöholm - Frontwoman
  • Flavia Canel - Guitars
  • Anna Kjellberg - Bass/Backup vocals (and my personal favorite)
  • Martina Axén - Drums/Backup vocals 

To sum it all up, what have we learned today?

  1. Sweden can produce some really beautiful women.
  2. Gawkman really wants to go to Ozzfest now.
  3. Metal chicks don't have to be total skanks.
  4. That acid and plutonium don't mix.
  5. That Pluhbabes can come in good sets.
  6. Gawkman can't control his Freudian grips, I mean, slips.

If you would like to know more about this great band of females, I suggest you go to the Drain S.T.H. Webring and pick a site, especially if it has pics.

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Boobays/GUUUH! The average of them all. 3.5
Ass/GARF! Same. 3
Smile/Face Attractive members, yes? 4
Personality They're metal chicks! 4.5
Bang Factor ..... they're metal chicks! 4
0
Final Verdict: 3.8

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Scarecrow splats:

Smilie!Drain is an awesome band! Anna K's been performing with Hanzel Und Gretyl since they came out, too. (At least, since the Transmissions from Uranus album... I'm not sure about Ausgeflippt.)
Who ever said raccoons are stupid
Nothing like a bunch of sweaty females getting into it.
That's a nice instrument you have.
She sells sea shells by the sea coast. DOH!
Eat your heart out. Mmmm...cardiac muscles.
A illustration the little gray area of right in wrong, called temptation.
Will you sign my tit?