Jennifer Aniston, revisited. S-sort of. But now, she's married to the pretty-boy fight clibbin vampiric bitchass Brad Pitt.
(note: This was made using the kickass automated review updating script that Kayn wrote. Suck that down)
There comes a time in every man's life where he must make sacrifices and pull himself together. Those times occur in the midst of his youth and the remainder of the elderly years. Sometimes, he must sacrifice a job to step ahead. Sometimes he must sacrifice a helpless llama with a bazooka in order to achieve enlightenment. But here, and only here, we must sacrifice all that is within the brink of sanity to bow and worship Jennifer Aniston.
On your knees, PEASANT!
Well, if you're one of those guys that are all, "HAHAHA!!11 I AM TEH GUY WHO WEIL SCORES WIF TEH JENNIFAR ANISTENS!!" - keep floggin' your dolphin.
...Okay, so I am one of those morons. It don't mattah though, because I have a feeling she will divorce Pitt-boy with the intentions of upping her publicity (or 'pubic-licty,' heh heh), and find comfort in the arms of some guy that sings. In a band. That is Psycho. Stick. Heh.
So what is a guy to do about this situation? FANTISIZE! DUH!
Jennifer Aniston: "Wow Kayn, you are unbelievable in the sack!"
Kayn: "Yeah, I get that a lot."
JA: "I mean, you did so much... and really impressed me. What is your secret?
Kayn: "Concentration. Lots of it. I have to focus on the challenge, and just break barriers."
JA: "..okay, so how was I?"
Kayn: "Pretty good. Between Jennifer Love Hewitt, Faith Hill, and that foursome I had with Katie Holmes, Elizabeth Hurley, and Denise Richards, you rattled my boat."
JA: "Wow, you're quite the man aren't you?"
Kayn: "I'm also in a band."
JA: "Take me now."
|Boobays/GUUUH!||Shakey shakey! Mmm...||5|
|Ass/GARF!||I dunno about you, but DIZ-AYUMM!||5|
|Smile/Face||Extremely super hottie smiley.||5|
|Personality||Married to Brad Pitt. Though, Brad is cool because of Fight Club, but she's married non-the-less.||4.5|
|Bang Factor||I want to go PAST FIVE, BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE BLARG!||5|
|Final Verdict: 4.9|