Jennifer Aniston, revisited. S-sort of. But now, she's married to the pretty-boy fight clibbin vampiric bitchass Brad Pitt.

(note: This was made using the kickass automated review updating script that Kayn wrote. Suck that down)

Ladies and Gentle...ladies.

There comes a time in every man's life where he must make sacrifices and pull himself together. Those times occur in the midst of his youth and the remainder of the elderly years. Sometimes, he must sacrifice a job to step ahead. Sometimes he must sacrifice a helpless llama with a bazooka in order to achieve enlightenment. But here, and only here, we must sacrifice all that is within the brink of sanity to bow and worship Jennifer Aniston.

On your knees, PEASANT!

Well, if you're one of those guys that are all, "HAHAHA!!11 I AM TEH GUY WHO WEIL SCORES WIF TEH JENNIFAR ANISTENS!!" - keep floggin' your dolphin.

...Okay, so I am one of those morons. It don't mattah though, because I have a feeling she will divorce Pitt-boy with the intentions of upping her publicity (or 'pubic-licty,' heh heh), and find comfort in the arms of some guy that sings. In a band. That is Psycho. Stick. Heh.

Where's muh sock?

So what is a guy to do about this situation? FANTISIZE! DUH!

Jennifer Aniston: "Wow Kayn, you are unbelievable in the sack!"
Kayn: "Yeah, I get that a lot."
JA: "I mean, you did so much... and really impressed me. What is your secret?
Kayn: "Concentration. Lots of it. I have to focus on the challenge, and just break barriers."
JA: "..okay, so how was I?"
Kayn: "Pretty good. Between Jennifer Love Hewitt, Faith Hill, and that foursome I had with Katie Holmes, Elizabeth Hurley, and Denise Richards, you rattled my boat."
JA: "Wow, you're quite the man aren't you?"
Kayn: "I'm also in a band."
JA: "Take me now."

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Boobays/GUUUH! Shakey shakey! Mmm... 5
Ass/GARF! I dunno about you, but DIZ-AYUMM! 5
Smile/Face Extremely super hottie smiley. 5
Personality Married to Brad Pitt. Though, Brad is cool because of Fight Club, but she's married non-the-less. 4.5
Bang Factor I want to go PAST FIVE, BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE BLARG! 5
0
Final Verdict: 4.9

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

pstick93 bakes:

Smilie!Jennifer Lopez Jennifer Aniston i think i have a thing for women named Jennifer.

asinine (Guest) plutoniums:

Smilie!she's pretty fuckin hot

Reburn and the Skidmarks (Guest) evaporates:

Smilie!Reburn and the Skidmarks would eat her shit and then shit it out on her agin. i hate that bitch.

chee chee man (Guest) forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!oh shit check these assholes out.

http://www.myspace.com/reburnandtheskidmarks

Batman1 (Guest) evaporates:

Smilie!i would love to eat that!!! OOHHHH!!! Jennifer Aniston makes me hard!!! Her and Lisa Kudro at the same time...WOOWOOOO!!!

crack money playa (Guest) jabbers:

Smilie!Sheeeyit negroes I'd diddle da clitty and nibble da titty!!!! Dats how we do it 'round hurr.Gots ta get in where we fits in,ya heard????

jim the beluga (Guest) communicates:

Smilie!oh man. this totally remonds me of Reburn and the Skidmarks

Mike yammers:

Smilie!Me too!! she has that bad girl in bed look. I'd loooooove to do her anytime :)

joe absolves:

Smilie!I wanna fuck her!! shes beautiful!!!

jenny (Guest) vocalizes:

Smilie!ooooh im a chick and i love to bang her. i think her nephew is that dude in reburn and the skidmarks, arent they from los angeles.

Shafty communicates:

Smilie!Carol, that would be why this section is called "Pluhbabes," NOT "Pluh-sensitive-and-funny-women-we-would-like-to-get-to-know-a-little-better-and-share-meaningful-long-glances-at-the-sunset-and-at-each-other."

cha chee (Guest) absolves:

Smilie!Reburn and the Skidmarks wouldnt even bang her!

Rawrb dispenses:

Smilie!Old enough to BANG HER! HAHRARHRHARH! STUPID!

carol (Guest) plutoniums:

Smilie!what's wrong with you.allyou care about is how hot she is!how old are you anyway
Nice curves...on the SIGNATURE! HAHAHA!
There must be a chill in here. Do you feel it?
Sometimes, just sometimes, one must take matters into his own hands.
Your bowtie is uneven. I shall fix that.
Mmm...jungle-o-lishous.
Did you call for a plumber? I clean pipes.