I should pronouce her name, Natalie Portmayunn! However, she is not a mayunn. No no no - her honey-ness certainly depicts her a female. And an extremely...nice one at that. READ IT!

With the new Star Wars movie coming out in a few weeks, I think it's time we tossed Natalie Portman onto the Hall o' Pluhbabes. She has more than 'earned' it, therefore here she is. WHEE!

I want to dock my ship in her port, man. HAHAHA!

I really don't know much about her past, though I know that she is a mammal. Yes, quite a remarkable one at that. I saw her in that one movie when she was a little girl with that guy that was an assassin, or something. And her family was killed (by the mean assassins) and that guy took her in because he is a nice assassin. After that, he got revenge and I forgot the rest. Was it important? No.

As she grew into a hottay, she starred in some other movies. Yes. Um...I've seen the cover of one of the movies she appeared in, where she wore really tight jeans that complimented her extreme hotty curveyness and acted with Ashley Judd (they kinda look alike too, which churns the supar drool machine). I remember staring at that cover thinking, "Wow, look at her and Ashley Judd on the same cover, showing their curvyness. This is too much...I cannot stand. *falls over* What are you looking at? *pulls out bazooka* GET AWAY FROM THE CURVY COVAR!"

Yes. Then I saw parts of a movie where she was pregnant or something. I changed teh channel.

In Star Wars, Episode I, she wore stupid outfits. I didn't like that big hair afro thing she had going, because it's Natalie Portman and she's too much of a honey thang to be wearin' thangs like that. Later on she had bettar thangs goin' on, but then she shot a bad guy GO NATALIE PORTMAN KILL STUPID ROBOTS DEAD! WATCH OUT I'll SAVE YOU! *runs into TV* Lousy reality again.

So now, she's in Episode 2 with that guy that plays Anakin. Which makes me wonder, after watching the trailers for Attack of teh Clones, is being horny on the dark side of the Force? I mean...yeah? How are Jedi supposed to reproduce without a BONAR? It's questions like these that confuse me. It must be the light side, because HAEVING SECKS = GOOD THING!

Yoda, "Anakin! Good secks is. Do it you must. Natalie Portman poke you will."

Psheeeewww! Weeeeeeerrrooo! *squirt squirt*

So she will be getting her groove poo on with that guy in a couple weeks on the big screen. What I wanna know is, what she thinks of lead singers in bands. Heh heh...after all, females cannot resist the charm of teh PLUHGUYS!

Natalie Portman, "Hmm, gotta go shoot Episode III tomorrow. What should I wear?" *opens closet*
Natalie, "AAAAAH! Who are YOU?!"
Kayn, "I am the Kayn. *waves hand* You will get naked now."
Natalie, "What are you doing in my closet?"
Kayn, "*waves hand again* You will get naked now."
, "Oh God. Quit that. Can't you think of something MORE ORIGINAL?"
Kayn, "It's not working?"
Natalie, "That Jedi mind trick is the lamest pick up ever."
, "Especially when some random guy appears in your closet, right?"
Natalie, "Well, that was pretty cool. Except for the fact that I consider that STALKING and I can call the cops for breaking and entering too."
Kayn, "Oh. Um...*scratches head* Hmm. Well, um... *waves hand* Do not call the cops."
Natalie, "..."
Kayn, "Ah HAH! It's working!"
Natalie, "You idiot. Let's just have sex and end this stupid fake dialogue already."
Kayn, "Yes, Queen Amidala."
Natalie, "ROAWRR! *rips off clothes, opening Star Wars theme plays*"
Kayn, "Hurray."

You don't know the POWER of the Fake Dialogue.


Category Comment Rating
Boobays/GUUUH! Boobies are very acceptable. 4
Ass/GARF! gGAararhhar... 5
Smile/Face *insert words that are good* 5
Personality She's in STAR WARS! 5
Bang Factor She's NUCLEAR bangable. 5
Final Verdict: 4.8


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Natalie Portman (Guest) conveys:

Smilie!I desire Kaynbang.

-|Devious|- jabbers:

Smilie!well.... i have 2 say that i cant read shit while drinking my 12th beer

Boobmeister! (Guest) discharges:

Dat's right baby, wink at da Kayn.
She's next to a bush. HAR HARHA RHR!
Her gaze. It are kills.
Weeehh heh heh...