We all like a good girl from time to time. Especially a good girl that can be a bad girl. Or perhaps a bad girl that can be a good girl. Or we all just like a girl. But she's pretty, so no matter how you look at her, she's a girl.
It is time for the very first Pluhbabe in the return of Pluh (this is the 6.0th return of Pluh, fyi). So we had to make her worthy. A girl of loveliness. A girl of purity. A girl that makes us glad she is not really a single mom; thus removing the guilt of the urge to, "shoplift the pooty."
As Kayn and I were speaking of the future of the next Pluhbabe, we pondered who she would be. We thought and thought, and then Jerry Maguire came on. We sat through nearly 3/4 of the movie watching Renee Zellweger play the part of the single mom with the too-cute-kid when suddenly Kayn turned to me and said:
Kayn: "DUDE! OUR NEXT PLUHBABE SHOULD BE JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT!!!"
Gawkman: "But dude, we've already done her."
Kayn: "Oh yeah..."
Gawkman: "So where are we going to find her?"
TV: *shows Renee Zellweger*
Kayn: "I don't know man."
Gawkman: "Neither do I; I'm all out of ideas. Ya know... the girl on this show is really good looking."
Kayn: "Yes, she is. Hey, how about Shania Twain?!?" Gawkman: "We've already done her too. You know, it would be cool if we could find one of those girls that has The Eyes..."
TV: *shows Zellweger giving Tom Cruise that soul-piercing stare*
Gawkman: "... and she doesn't need a whole bunch of makeup to look good; she's naturally pretty..."
TV: *shows Zellweger after waking up the next morning* Gawkman: "... yet she still evokes those same primitive needs in all guys."
TV: *shows Zellweger walking away from camera in nice-fitting jeans*
TV: "How about Renee Zellweger."
Kayn: "Dude, I just got a crazy idea."
TV: "Yeah, it's about time you get it."Gawkman: "What?"
Kayn: "Let's order a PIZZA! That outta get our creative juices flowing."
TV: "You dumbasses."
Gawkman: "Yeah, that's a GREAT idea!"
TV: *grabs Gawkman's head and starts to knee him in the face* Kayn: "Dude!"
TV: "MAKE RENEE A PLUHBABE NOW!!!"
Kayn: "Is pepperoni okay?"
Gawkman: *between hits* "Sure... and get some breadsticks, too."
Kayn: "Okay, cool."
Gawkman: "Oh, by the way..." *eyeball pops out of socket*
TV: "Die, BITCH!" *slams face through wall*
Gawkman: "I think we should make Renee Zellweger our next Pluhbabe."
Kayn: "Hey, not a bad idea. Why did you think of her all of a sudden?"
TV: "RAWWWWWWRRRRR!!!" *hurls Gawkman across room* Gawkman: "Don't know; I'm just a genious I guess." *brain spills out of head*
Kayn: "Ewwww, gross! How long have you let this milk set out?"
Disclaimer: May not have happened.
Well, there's not much more we can say about Renee (Hey! I'm witty today! Yay!). She's pretty, and we want her. What more reason do you need? I mean, I don't even have to resort to pointing out perverted facts to make her seem more Pluh-worthy; she just IS.
TV: *goes postal*
|Boobays/GUUUH!||*makes so-so motion*||3|
|Ass/GARF!||Much happy curve-age.||4|
|Smile/Face||She is a synonym for "cute"||5|
|Personality||Comes across to helpless.||2.5|
|Bang Factor||I would almost rather watch her than do her.||3|
|Final Verdict: 3.5|