Attractive females come in all shapes and sizes. And crappy music genres. Fortunately, around here it's mostly raw physical appearance that we worship, thus giving us an excuse. After all, we all know deep down we're never gonna be Any Guy of Hers.
"I object to usage of Pluhbabe of the month being Shania Twain. I know she may be fine, but when I think of that PMS produced song 'Any Man Of Mine', I get images of used feminine hygeine products, which is enough to bring down even the mightiest of the wood. Timber!!!" - Gawkman
Gawkman, you worry me.
Yeah. So I guess if Shania showed up on your doorstep clad, holding a box of condoms, you'd say no and slam the door in her face. We don't do pluhbabe reviews on personality, singing ability, or even how they dress. Hell, if we did that, you think pluh Extreme would be as popular as it is now? No wait...we're not even popular. Damnit, nevermind. We do pluhbabes because they need to be done.
So let's take a long look at Shania Twain. What do you see? What do you do? Well, you're seeing a very attractive chick, and apparently you can't do much. She's MARRIED to some producer guy who has lots of money. Which reminds me about the problem I've been having lately.
The other night when Gawkman and Philipp were here, there was a parlay goin' on next door. After arriving from the unbelievably badass Sevendust/Machinehead concert down the street, we were all quite exhausted and banged up. We changed and came back outside to socialize with the drunken mass. There was this one chick (I don't remember if she was high or drunk) that was DAMN hot. We were all talking and flirting with her until her man came up and started prodding on her. Sad thing was, she was really the only nice looking chick there.
*slaps self with mack truck*
Okay, back to Shania Twain.
If her name doesn't scream "County Chick," her music will. Reguardless of that aspect, she's very worthy of the pluhbabe-dom. What is it with these country chicks? Faith Hill? DAMN! And some of these newer ones that you see whilst muting CNN just cause the spoogemonkey to spooge.
MOST of them. *cough*
Some people say Shania is more of R&B now than she is country. I say she needs to go metal:
Shania, "Any Man of Miii---what the hell?!
Kayn, "Hi there."
Shania, "Uh, how did you get in here?"
Kayn, "Magic. Now listen, I've got a proposal for you."
Kayn, "If you add distortion, they will come."
Kayn, "If you add distortion, they WILL COME."
Shania, "Wait a sec. You're saying if I go metal, scream a lot, and write contreversial songs, people will come?"
Shania, "You're so wise and good looking. Shall we engage in intercourse?"
Kayn, "Sorry, I don't thrust my testicular tank upon the wed."
Shania, "*quickly calling lawyers, settling divorce*"
Can you imagine a metal version of Shania? That would be a sweet, spectacular sound/sight. She'd open for Asinine and be my personal hoover.
|Boobays/GUUUH!||I want to play with them.||4.5|
|Ass/GARF!||You just wanna grasp and grasp some mo'.||5|
|Smile/Face||Extremely perdy and perdy more.||4.5|
|Personality||YEEOUCH! Drop the country crap and this will increase. :)||3|
|Bang Factor||It would be fun and would never end.||5|
|Final Verdict: 4.4|