The first direct Final Fantasy sequel is released. Yeah. In other news, my socks need a good wearing.
Since I just reviewed the old Final Fantasy Origins, I figured it'd be wonderful to review one of Squeenix's (that's my awesome pet name for Square Enix) newer "games."
To be quite honest, I don't know what's happening to Square Enix. Their newer games seem to be so very poofy and lacking in real substance, or something like that. Often I try so very hard to dig their newer stuff, but it's just so very... hard.
To illustrate my point, look at this image.
For the love of God, NO! N!O N!O N!O!NO
Now, look at that picture and think about what you're seeing. This is, in lament's terms, STUPID. For some reason, Square Enix thought it'd be a great idea to take the contept of Charlie's Angels (which both the old version and the modern day version are lame and should die) and make it some overly gippy, terrible direct sequel to the already decent game that is Final Fantasy X.
Listen. I'm not some Final Fantasy newbie that just crawled out of the woodwork to just destroy this game for no reason. I'm a huge fan of all them Square Enix games. I love most of the installments of the Final Fantasy series. But this... this is unacceptable. Completely and utterly terrible.
You might be thinking, "He just hates it because the main characters are girls!"
Haha! That's right! Shut up.
FF6's main character is Terra. I love that game. So eat a bag of poop.
So yeah - so much potential down the drain due to dumb.
Ok, I'll give this game a couple things. One, the battle system is very cool. It's quick and multitaskable (I make my own words - yay!), which gives it a unique challenge to master. Change you class in the middle of the battle? Sure thing, proviced you've got the right dresspheres and your garment grids are set up. Dress spheres? Garment grids? It's a Barbie-Final Fantasy hybrid.
The second cool thing is that the game is mission based, which adds a new element of "WHEE" to these games. Kinda reminded me of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, which is a WHEE like game.
But that's all I'm giving this game. I hate the character design - it's actually WORSE than Final Fantasy X's design. What's that guy's name... Tetsuya... something. He's like, the worst guy ever and stuff. Some warped fashion freak, I dunno. Thankfully, Final Fantasy XII's character design will be done by the Vagrant Story guy (or so I've heard). Bah, whatever.
I shall quote Gawkman: "Of all the Final Fantasies to make a sequel to, why FFX?"
I feel for ya man.
So anyway, I'm sure I offended the FFX/FFX2 fanboys and whatever.
Hate me in the comments. I deserve it, right? Heh. NO!
|Gameplay||The battle system and the mission system knows. The rest does not.||3|
|Graphics||I wasn't floored, but they weren't bad.||4|
|Music/Sound||Completely and utterly uninspiring.||0.5|
|Replay Value||I don't know...||1.5|
|Originality||It's the BAD kind of original!||0.5|
|For the love of God, WHY!?||This game needs to be burned.||-5|
|Final Verdict: 0.75|