What happens when Disney and Squaresoft combine their powars? This.

I love games. I love everything about them. I love buying games, playing games, renting games, re-playing games, and gamey games. Love it all. It's like... great. And stuff. That being said, I purchased Kingdom Hearts with the hopes that Squaresoft would make another great gamey game that I would enjoy with much glee.

However, something wasn't right about this. Something wasn't really cutting it. Something was... missing.

Commercialization + Generic = Boring COS TAN Money

I am definately a nerd. I saw the Kingdom Hearts preview on TV, and oogled at the potential fun that I saw. The Mariah Carey song that was playing, though, made me ingest vomit. So it was a strange balance. I felt extremely medium when I saw the commercial. This was during the wait for Metroid Prime, FYI.

So I picked the game up with the high hopes that the talent from Squaresoft and Disney would make a wonderful game. Alas, my friends, this was not the case. I had been suckered into a very evil ploy that was called, "GAME MADE PURELY FOR MONEY." Argh, I shall explain.

CLARD!
CLOUD with a CAPE! That's better somehow!

Sora... sore... HA!

You're Sora. You're a kid with the voice of that one kid from that one movie with Bruce Willis with the surprise ending. Yeah. That you are. You're on some island with your friends (Um... Kairi, and that guy with the sword), doing a lot of nothing. Oh, the characters from Final Fantasy X are also there with you. In child form.

Then, a giant ball of death randomly appears and stuff happens. Then you go searching for Kairi. Donald and Goofy join up with you soon after that. Wow. Now, the thing that irks me the most about this game is that they threw in a bunch of characters from popular Disney movies and Final Fantasy games and made a game out of it. It's so... randomly thrown together, I couldn't help but laugh. "OH NO LET'S GO FIND KING MICKEY!" Ugh. Think about it. What the flying flipping flippidy flapshit do the Final Fantasy characters have to do with ANY Disney characters? I can see how that'd be a creative challenge, but come on now. YUCK!

There can only be one explanation to this. It's called: Money! That's right! Disney (being popular over here) and Final Fantasy (being as popular in Japan) came together to create a monumental financial masterpiece! I mean, if you love Disney shit, you will buy this game. I bought the game because I wanted to see Cloud in 128 bit form and stuff. And, I did. It was brief. The Final Fantasy part of the game is very mininmal. VERY. It's mostly Disney. Argh.

I know a lot of people like this game. And that just emphasizes my point even more. It was purposely made to be generic and conforming in order to make more money (this is the Chick Flick of video games). Mass appeal. That, my friends, takes away the splendor of a potentially great product.

KILL DALMATIONS TO MAKE PUPPY STEW

I didn't like it because it was boring. That's it. Everything else was pretty good. I liked the graphics. The animation was superb - the voice acting was great. Of course, that's because they (being Square and Disney) reached into their deep pockets and hired some professional actors. Haley Joe Osmond. And James... um, that guy that did Hades' voice in the actual Hercules movie (forgot his name). Yeah, so there's actual voice talent there.

There was a lot of polish on this game too, which was why I am so disappointed that they let the gameplay become a drag. The battles could have been so much more. Fighting the Heartless (which are your primary enemies) got kinda boring. Sometimes you got the opportunity to switch party members, other than just having Donald and Goofy. However, if you did this, the party member that would be on hold wouldn't be able to gain levels. Thus, it was recommended that Donald and Goofy stay in your party all the time since you travel world to world with them. Goofy was kinda strong, but Donald was a bitch. He was a pain in the ass to keep alive during battles. Getting to use Aladdin or Tarzan in your party was nifty. I don't recall ever having a Final Fantasy character that would be in your party. Figures.

Aeris looked HAWT!

Conclusion? Meeh. I stopped playing it when I reached the Pinnochio part of the game, as I felt no desire to play. I was just bored with it. So I only recommend this game if you're a big Disney fan. Otherwise, play this game if you can't find a better one. Whee. Now I goes! :D

Rating

Category Comment Rating
Gameplay *yawn* 2
Graphics Very cool. 4.5
Music/Sound Better than 80s tunes. 3
Replay Value I don't wanna play it again. 2
Originality They're rehashing Disney characters. And FF characters. Hrrm. 2.5
0
Final Verdict: 2.8

Comments!

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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Ravenwolf un-shut-ups:

Smilie!I'm sorry, but no, you can't judge a game--You at the very least can't judge the story--if you haven't finished it.

Also, your review would be a lot more convincing if you at least got the basic facts right. Not only can guests indeed level up, but to my knowledge, there is no such person as Haley "Joe Osmond."

Okay, I don't want to be totally mean. The Disney parts do suck, and Monstro was hell to go through. However, I think that it's worth going through all of that crap to see the actual storyline.

Jonneh Christ splats:

Smilie!LOL KINGDUMBHARTS SUCKS! i TOTALLY AGREE WITH RGHBJFBJFBAHFJKLh PUdDINg!

pstick93 pizzas:

Smilie!wow. I cant believe you guys are yelling at rawrb for expressing his opinion on a freakin video game for cryin out loud. And listening to some of you guys you probably like those freakin full metal alchemist/anime fanboys that send in those stupid letters to Xplay and stuff on G4 because they gave a bad review to a fullmetal alchemist game.(which the FMA games blow by the way). and spell and/or use proper english by the way

Rawrb pizzas:

Smilie!I am too the best ever!

thedudewhosadude (Guest) bakes:

Smilie!No, you really can't, mainly due to the fact that you aren't the best ever.

Rawrb discharges:

Smilie!animedreamer said:First of all, I can't believe I'm say'n this, but when you swith a party member to a disney charater, the party member on hold does in fact grow levels too.DAH! And maybe if you did actually finish playing the game (which I doubt you could)you probaly tought alot better of it. And second you can't jugde a game if you haven't even played it all the way through, idiot! Yes I can! I'm the best ever!

animedreamer (Guest) excretes:

Smilie!First of all, I can't believe I'm say'n this, but when you swith a party member to a disney charater, the party member on hold does in fact grow levels too.DAH! And maybe if you did actually finish playing the game (which I doubt you could)you probaly tought alot better of it. And second you can't jugde a game if you haven't even played it all the way through, idiot!

Rawrb discharges:

Smilie!I disliked it because it was boring! BORE! The music was meeh. I'm just glad they didn't have singing.

thedudewhosadude (Guest) says in non-morse code:

Smilie!what are you talking about? The only thing i can agree with you on this site is your review on Drumline *shudders* Anyway, this game is pretty good, and i'll admit i at first stayed away from it due to the disney characters. Then i tried it, and actually found i liked it, once i got past all the oh-so-terribly-cute characters. The ending would actually be quite satisfactory to you, as you seem to not like this game. And as for the final fantasy characters? You get Cloud after you beat him three times.

Shafty splats:

Smilie!*consults dictionary for "PROMBLLY"*Nope, not there. Perhaps a spell-checker is in order for you, friend?

Rawrb jabbers:

Smilie!OMG LOL I CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY TYPE LIKE THIS HEY GO GET A NEW KEYBOARD BECAUSE HAR HAR NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE THIS GAME I AM ONE OF THEM OW MY HAMSTER LET ME FIND A NEW FLOPPY DRIVE ORANGEJIUICE

Shikukasha (Guest) vocalizes:

Smilie!I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU SUCK WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU !!!YOU PROMBLLY DIDN'T PLAY THE GAME !!!! >_< GGGGRRRRRR!!!!!! OH AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE DISNEY OR FINAL FANTASY TO LOVE THE GAME!!!! SO PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TO THIS PERSON JUST PLAY THE GAME IT'S GREAT !!!!! ^-^

Rawrb unleashes:

Smilie!NOFACE!
Killing death guy!
Cloud? Slay them now.
PETAR PART!
I point like girly boy!
DUMB HOOK!
Yeah. That.
SHARRRK! (Thumb humor)
I will... have lame design!
Under teh sea boobays!
Tarzan get stuff!