Another sequel of a sequel of a sequel of a sequel of a sequel of a sequel of a sequel of a sequel. It retains all the good stuff, of course. Mmm...good stuff!

Yay. The IXth installment of the so very famous RPG series. So what makes this one so damn special?

Let's say... your favorite restaurant got a new manager with new ideas. No wait - your favorite arcade threw away that old, 2D sprite side scroller that you've been playing for the last 5 years. Uhh, no, that won't work. Okay, here we go: That last porno mag you had was featuring one less brunette than you're used to, and the two lesbian chicks just didn't do that one thing that you really, really liked...

Man, this isn't working. Nevermind.

So after 9 installents of this epic series, what the hell can you expect? Same old shit? New stuff? Traditions? A hotter chick? Less annoying battles? One thing I can definately tell you is that the chick is fairly hot, though I kinda feel stupid saying that kind of stuff. Well shit, what do you want me to say? Some fake feminine incarnation in some tights jumping around and uhh, showing off that computer generated ass? Ohh man...shut up Kayn, j-just finish the damn review.

So how did square h4x0r this here sequel? Well, let's just say it's still just as addicting as those predecessors. Here's the thing though: It really feels like a Final Fantasy game, from the first battle to the climatectic final boss. What the hell am I talking about? How does a Final Fantasy game, or any game for that matter, have a 'feel?'

Rather simple really; traditions, music, gameplay, and storylines. Graphics play a role of course, but not as much as you or I would think.

The feel of Final Fantasy games have sort of 'died away' since about Final Fantasy 7. "But Kayn," the regular Final Fantasy hardcore geek would say, "You're very wrong! Blah blah blah, it had this and that, and blah blah blah, I'm a gimp, etc..."

You know something bitch? You suck.

Final Fantasy, from I through VI, all had that special 'feel.' Yeah, I sound like a whore's car with a broken selinoid, but listen. When Final Fantasy VII came out, I was beyond stoked. I ran so very fast to buy it, but was slightly let down when I saw helicopter, a motorcycle, and a rocket. The first thing that came to mind was, "I'm hungry, and I want some pie."

The next thing was, "Hey bitch, this sucks. I want my damn castles, dragoons, knights, and other stuff." Of course, I didn't get that with part VIII. As a matter of fact, they strayed even further with this - leather jackets, cars, astronauts, and other crap. After I finished part VIII, I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever get that old feeling again. Crazy as that sounds, that was what I missed the most.

Along with the standard tradition, the gameplay for the big sequel was extra fun. The battles, however, did get annoying at some points. Loading times weren't that bad (a little slower than VIII and VII), and the battle system kept it's shine as it always has in the past. Everything about control, the storyline, and replay value kept it's sparkle and shine throughout the game. Not once did I say, "Aw man, I don't want to play this game" like I said with Legend of Mana, Daikatana, and solitaire.

Music? Eh, so-so. Mr. Umetuasu (however you spell it) did a fairly good job with the MIDI and real time composition. Unfortunately, I wasn't floored until I heard some slight remixes from old Final Fantasy tunes, thus making this work still pale in comparision to FFIV and FFVI. Guess it's come to that. D'oh!

The Visuals and Graphics were ahead of it's predecessor of course, with smooth motion-captured animation and excellenct CG. Once again, they have outdone themselves from the last Final Fantasy, putting more detail in than before. Didn't think it was possible after Final Fantasy VIII, eh?

So does FF9 rock your world? I don't know - I hate saying 'rock your world.' Does it own you? Nope, I hate saying that even more. It's just a damn fine game, and anyone who like RPGs and Final Fantasies should get this now. I don't care if you need that last 50 bucks to buy food for survival - BUY THIS GAME! Get over it bitch!

Gotta run now. Bye bye.


Category Comment Rating
Gameplay Not a damn thing wrong - super fun, super detailed, and WHEE! 5
Graphics Aside from some extremely strange character design, WHEE AGAIN! 4.5
Music/Sound Cool music here and there. Sound effects have improved from previous Final Fantasies. 4.5
Replay Value Yup yup, there's so much here, you want to come back again! 4.5
Originality It's Final Fantasy! Originality is it's middle name! Final Originality Fantasy. (Ha ha.) 4.5
Final Verdict: 4.6


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

Rawrb blahs:

Smilie!Wow, I haves a lot of spelling errars though. GRR!

AerithSpirit (Guest) jabbers:

Smilie!I loved this review! It was informative and funny! Oh yeah, it's NOBUO UEMATSU!!!!!
Decisions, decisions.
Good translations.
Guess who!