By Gawkman on 2004-01-15, 26 comments
The worst dangers can be the ones you are unaware of.
With every device, there are hidden perils. Later, these perils are only discovered through negative experience in people that are revealed in a lawsuit against a company.
We here at Pluh.com would like to take a look today into the hidden dangers of a very common electronic item we use everyday... the computer mouse.
Oh, sure, it looks innocent... but it's time that you got the real scoop on computer mice. Here's a few handy tips to keep in mind next time you decide to use your mouse that just may save your life one day.
#1: Clean your mouse regularly.
If you don't have an optical mouse yet, it would be a good idea to regularly clean the inner rollers of your mouse. Just unscrew the bottom, remove the ball, and clean the built-up lint off the wheels with your finger nail or a small, narrow object
#2: Don't leave your mouse lying around.
A mouse lying around on the floor can be quite a hazard, because you don't expect it to be there. If you see any mice laying around, go ahead and pick it up before someone trips and injures themself.
#3: Don't use your mouse in the shower.
A mouse is an electrical device, and like a hairdryer or radio, should not be used in the shower.
#4: Do not use your mouse as a weapon.
When you don't have a shoe or a waffle iron around to fend off a foe, a mouse can be a very tempting thing to grab. Although it seems like it might make a good weapon, it will only end up pissing off your attacker. If pushed into this situation, try to go for a keyboard instead.
#5: Do not use your mouse in a bad pun.
Not paying attention to this safety tip may result in your death.
#6: Do not eat on top of your mouse.
A mouse sounds like the second best thing to rice for putting your main course on top of, but you may accidently cut the cord, making the mouse useless.
#7: Do no drink your mouse.
There are times when you are thirsty enough to drink anything... but don't let this be a temptation to drink your mouse! Choking is common when people do this. If you do find that you are choking on a mouse, try gently pulling on the chord until it dislodges from your throat.
#8: Do not cheat on your mouse.
Mouse have feelings... be considerate. If you've decided that you're ready to move on to a new mouse, let your old mouse know this before doing so.
#9: Do not use your mouse as a grappling hook.
When you're trying to climb up a ledge that's too tall for you, a mouse can seem like a great substitute for a grappling hook with it's cord and mass. However, the mouse lacks the sharp hooks of a grappling hook, and the cord will be unable to support your weight. Try to find another way up.
#10: Do not use your mouse as a floatation device.
In those critical life-or-death moments when someone's drowning, it's easy to lose your cool. Make sure that you grab the life preserver and not a computer mouse. Although they look very similar, a mouse is not big enough and doesn't have enough buoyancy to support a person.
Mouse Users Safety Guide images... visually!
Scrape the mouse's innards!
The floor of comfort.
I bet you are SHOCKED that I would use a lame joke like this.
So VIOLENT!
Haha, I get THAT!
Mmmmmm...
I only drink purified mouse.
Looking for the better mouse. ANALYSIS: FEAR OF COMMITMENT.
Prepare for consequences of being DUMB!
*gasp*
*glug, glug, glug*
Post a comment!
Is it recommended to use the mouse cord as dental floss?
I never realized until now how dumb you guys actually are. :)
Murph said:
<p>Is it recommended to use the mouse cord as dental floss?</p>
Har har, he left that one out.
Shan said:
I never realized until now how dumb you guys actually are. :)
Yeah... :)
hhhmmm. I never looked at a mouse like that.
mmm... interesting....
awesome
woah..i always did those things except the grappling hook cause mine is wireless
danio said:
woah..i always did those things except the grappling hook cause mine is wireless
Tune in next week for: "Why Band-Aids should have warning labels."
simply genious.
This is awesome! I love #8 and #9!
I find that my mouse goes well with fruit salads. You should try it.
mouse mouse mouse mouse mouse mouse....
face!!
i like pandas almost as much as mouse pads.....
Do not cage the mouse! Let it roam in the wild with it's herd. So that we may have new mice in the future.
Long Live The King!!!! HarHarHar
Wut da fuk was dat?
TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! I tried to use my mouse in a fight with a drunken hobo about a fort-night ago, long story short, I ended up beaten with a Jack Daniel's bottle embedded in my spine and I was missing my shoes.
HA HAHAH AHHA AHH HAHAHA HHH AHAHA HAHAHA HAHAH AHAHAHA HAH AHA
ummmm
Thank's i needed some good mouse tip's. I have a optical. At first i thought it was some kind of evil alien. Anyways. All though i am experienced with keyboards and learned many lessons, like how keyboards don't mix well with coffee, If you do mix it, then you're in a sticky situation! because you run into a situation/temptation to drink it, but it wouldn't taste good when it's mixed with your cigarette ashes and stuff. So that's my tip for you, and stuff.
I just can't stop laughing at the picture of Josh drinking his mouse, for some reason.
by the way, #5 GOES IN THE PUNCH GAWKMAN THREAD.
how bout microwaving the mouse?...........no?...................whoops
nice. i make mistakes like that every day.
What about using your mouse as a lasso? Because I have some cows to rangle up, they just refuse to go into the slaughterhouse, even when I ask nicely! HOW RUDE!
So you want to post a comment, huh? Well, we want to be annoying! You must register first! That's right, now you are swallowed in a venomous rage!
Or you can log in NOW!
You gotta log in or register to post stuff!