Alex, Tony, (Joebob and Dysfunctional1 on the forums) and myself decided to take a roadtrip to Six Flags Magic Mountain. On a Saturday. WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING GOING ON A SATURDAY?!?

So, Tony Guy, Alex and I (Dysfunctional1 and Joebob on the forums) decided to make a little road trip to California to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain. I had never been there before, and they had, but it had been a while for both of them. So like intelligent individuals, we went there on a Saturday. We're dumb.

Anyway, upon arrival at the park and observing all the cool rollercoasters, I went into Destroy Mode(tm) and immediately took the reigns on forming the most efficient means of attacking the park. My fellow park goers were perplexed by my level of passion. They just don't understand.

The doors had just opened, and we already had tickets, so we didn't have to wait in line to buy one like all the others [suckers], giving us the distinct advantage of being the first group to enter the park. After entering, we headed left towards the Viper and the Xtreme (or just "X" as they called it), since the majority of the other people would have a tendency to head to the right, giving us at least one shot at getting on a ride with no line. This did end up happening, although not as a result of how we planned.


We headed for this ride, only to discover that there was a sign in front saying that the ride was closed. Joebob was greatly disappointed because he had been to this park once and didn't get to ride it, and concluded that he would not be able to this time, either. But then a park employee walked by, and we asked him if they closed the ride. He said that it would be open in five minutes, so we started waiting by the park entry. While waiting, people just started mindlessly lining up behind us. There had to be a good 50-something people by the time they finally removed the sign and let us in. We began to joke about how fun it would be to just line up there if the ride had been closed so people would follow behind, then just leave.

Joebob got his compensation... he hadn't gotten to ride the Viper before when he had visited Magic Mountain, and he thought he wasn't going to this time when we saw that sign. Then we ended up being first in line, on the front seat of the first ride of the Viper for the day. The coaster itself is a steel coaster. It has a bunch of loops. They are fun. There was a cool corkskrew near the end. Overall, I found this to be a good, solid rollercoaster. It was also an excellent warm-up of things to come.

Name: Viper
Coaster type:
Steel, looping.
Standard sit down cars

SCORE: 4/5
PROS: First in line, fast coaster, loopy, fun.
CONS: The line was never short again for the rest of the day.


Hooray for long waits in line! There was a sign stating that from the point in line were at to the front was about a 2 and half hour wait. It was lying, it was more like an hour and a half. It's said to be happy that you only had to wait for an hour and a half. Only now does the ridiculousness of the fact become obvious.

Now, before I tell you about the Xtreme, you have to understand what's different about it and how it works. Unlike normal sit-down coasters, the seats are attached to the side. They can role completely around forwards or backwards, although they're controlled by an internal mechanism to do so at specific times. However, you can't possibly understand how that impacts the experience until you ride the damn thing.

So, we're climbing along, and our seats tilt back so you can't look back and see when you're going to drop. During the climb, I kept trying to get comfortable, because they really strap you in for this one. I began to wonder if the tightness of the safety gear was a little excessive. Later, I would find myself questioning the integrity of those safety devices. Especially on the first drop. It totally threw me off guard. The seat tilted to wear you basically looking straight down at the ground from 200 feet for the initial drop, giving you a suspended feeling of doom. Then it finishes you off by completely flipping you over.

The terror.

My commendations goes to any ride that can inspire a genuine fear of death in me. I found myself gripping the bars shouting obscenities as we reached speeds of up to over 70 mph, with the track periodically inverting and the seats flipping between going backwards, then flipping back to facing forwards. Talk about disorientation. You don't know where you are. You don't know where you're going. You don't know if you'll come out alive. You just know that:

  1. You're going fast.
  2. Your security devices no longer seem extraneous.
  3. No human being should experience what you are experiencing.

So after overcoming the tramatic experience that was the X, I finally concluded (looking back as I sit in my nice, comfortable chair in which I can deny my fears of this death machine) that I really liked the ride.

Name: X
Coaster type:
Steel, inverting track
Rotating seats attached to base car

SCORE: 5/5
PROS: Fast. Unpredictable. Unexpected. And the track was yellow and magenta.


It was about noon by the time we got of the X, and the joy in still being alive had made us hungry. So we headed to Mooseburger, a restaurant within the park that had an all-you-can-eat buffet, as well as... CHINESE FOOD! I mean, burgers.

The atmosphere was awesome. They had these robot mooseheads on the walls that sang cheesy kids songs! As for the food, I had to order me a "Mooseburger", which advertised that it came with "tree-trunk sized french fries". I scoffed at such ridiculous marketing claim. That was until I got the food. Although not physically measuring up to the size of a tree-trunk, their claim was absolutely true from a metaphoric stand point. The fries were about an inch wide, a centimeter or so thick, and averaged over half a foot long. One particular fry I had was easily approaching a foot in length. The burger was really good, too. I finished most of my burger and about half of the fries. Joebob finished all (and I think he was still hungry).

On top of that, we got FREE WATER with our meal, so we got lots of hydration at an affordable price. I definitely recommend the Mooseburger to any Six Flags Magic Mountain park-goer.

Name: Mooseburger
Restaurant type:
Sit-down, , all-you-can-eat buffet, burgers
Average restaurant

SCORE: 4.5/5
PROS: Singing moose-heads, good burgers, tree-trunk size french fries
CONS: Got us all a little too full. Well, all except Joebob.


We got in line for the Goliath after Mooseburger. Luckily, the line for the ride was easily over an hour, which gave us time for our food to settle. Wait a second, was I really just thankful that the line was long? Excuse me while I punch myself.

*punches self*

Okay, I liked the colors of this one. The track was orange, and the steel supports were an aqua-blue. I got a word for this ride: ADRENALINE.

This is one of those kick-your-ass rides. We ended up riding this one again near the end of the night, when the rising climb was illuminated with nifty green lights. The first drop on the Goliath is definitely the most intense I've experienced. The angle is very steep- somewhere between 45 degrees and straight down. And it is LONG (fyi, ride this one at night. You'll do this drop into pitch-darkness). You swoop down, go through a tunnel at the bottom, then right back up, turn around way up high, then come right back down. The latter half of this ride gets going FAST. You get into a cork-screw section where end up feeling some serious G's. Many people claim to get light-headed and black-out during that part (it happened to Joebob the first time), but I didn't because I got plenty of oxygen- this was probably because I was yelling my guts out in response to the adrenaline flushing through my system.

I liked this ride. RAWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!

Name: Goliath
Coaster type:
Steel, non-looping.
Standard sit down cars

: 5/5
PROS: Fast. High-G's. Drop of DOOM!
CONS: No loops... (not that it needed them)


This was apparently one of the tallest wooden rollercoasters ever built at one point in time or something. I believe that on "National Lampoon's Vacation", this was the actual coaster that they rode at the alleged "Wallyworld". I was quite disappointed. It was extremely shakey, not a comfortable ride. You could combine that with the feeling that the thing was going to fall apart any second. Understandable, because it's quite old. Joebob really seemed to really enjoy the crappiness, though.


Name: Collosus
Coaster type:
Wooden, double-track (one no longer in use)
Standard sit down cars

SCORE: 2/5
PROS: The line was short.


This was the first (and only) stand-up rollercoaster I had ever ridden. After a significant wait in line, we finally got on the thing. It was really loopy and had a cool green track. A good word to describe this is FUN. This was indeed the best designed rollercoaster I've ever ridden. It's extremely smooth, leaving you without the need to even hold on. It has loops and swoops and corkscrews and it's very, very fun. I'm not sure whether I liked this one or the Goliath better.


If I had any complaints about the Riddler, it would be the music in the loading area. ARRRGGG! They played monotonous techno-rave music in the loading zone, and due to bad design, we were crammed in that area for much longer than we probably should have been.

Name: Riddler's Revenge
Coaster type:
Steel, looping
Stand-up cars

SCORE: 5/5
CONS: Annoying seat thingy that came up between your legs (potential ball-crushage). Rave in the loading dock.


After riding the Riddler's Revenge, we were tired of waiting in line to do stuff, so we decided to sit down and watch the Batman Stunt Show. I know you're probably wondering why you would want to watch one of these, and I was wondering, too. I have an answer for you: IT'S LIKE A LIVE B-MOVIE. Go back, and read that last line a few times and let that really sink in. You know, B-movies? Bad special effects? Cheesy stunts? Well, you get all that LIVE. It's so great! You get to experience:

1. A cliche "punching" sound-effect everytime someone gets hit (and it doesn't always line up with their hits)
2. Firecrackers that are supposed to make it look like they are "shooting" a gun.
3. A motorcycle "fight" which is more of them just pointlessly showing off bike stunts.
4. Cords/cables galore! My personal favorite was a visible cord attached Poison Ivy's back, which yanked her back when she got kicked.
5. Random explosions!
6. Awful one liners. (Mr. Freeze: "CHILL them!")

I strongly recommend watching one of these if you ever get a chance. You can thank me later.

Name: Batman Stunt Show

SCORE: 5/5
PROS: Bad jokes as an ice-breaker. Lame punching sound-effects. Bad one-liners. Visible cords.
CONS: There are none. It's a live b-movie! How can it get any better?


After the Batman Stunt Show, we headed of for more coaster-age. We headed for a coaster called the "Deja-Vu", but it apparently was closed for the day. Right next to it was a wooden coaster called the Psyclone. As we approached, someguy told me that there was pretty much no line. We entered and found this to be true. We were able to get right on. This was a wooden rollercoaster. It was pretty fun- definitely a notch up from the Collosus. The jerk-you around-ness was there, though, and my comment at the end of the ride was, "OW! My spinal alignment!"

Name: Psyclone
Coaster type:
Standard sit down cars

SCORE: 3/5
PROS: Decent wooden rollercoaster. Really short line for it.
CONS: Jerky, loud.


This was, apparently, the first looping rollercoaster ever built. I believe this was also on National Lampoon's Vacation. It was also rather disappointing. This was a white, older steel rollercoaster. The ride was pretty jerky, even having a sign before one such part stating, "please brace head against headrest". Eh, I don't have much else to say about this one.

Name: Revolution
Coaster type:
Steel, single-looping
Standard sit down cars

SCORE: 2.5/5
PROS: Finally got to ride it, novelty of being first looping coaster ever. Short line also.
CONS: Obviously old and out-dated.


After riding the Revolution, we decided to go ahead and tough out the long line wait for the newest ride called "Scream". The line ended up being a lot shorter than we thought it would. We got up there in about 45 minutes, which left us with time to ride one more thing (which ended up being the Goliath since it was right there). The colors for this ride was a cool clash of colors as well. It had a track color combination of blue and yellow, with purple supports. Very "Blah!" It was late when we finally got on it though, and the initial climbing hill were illuminated with purple lights. Nearing the end of the day, you could tell that the park employees running the ride had become very board, and started saying random dumb things through the intercom while we were waiting for our turn to board. -"The lights on our coaster are purple!" -"I make you go by pushing the green button!" -"He just pushed the green button!" The ride itself was another "WHEE!" ride. There were tons of loops and turns that sent you all over the place. The seats where a little different in that you were in a car, you were strapped into seats that pretty much rode above the track on their own, giving it a very "open" feel. This ride wasn't quite as smooth as the Riddler's Revenge, but it was still a really fun ride.

Name: Scream
Coaster type:
Steel, looping
Floorless (just seats) cars

SCORE: 4/5
PROS: Purple runway lights, lots of loopi-ness. Reasonable line length.
CONS: Little bit jerky at times.

In summary, Six Flags Magic Mountain rules, though I seriously recommend not going on a Saturday- you will definitely spend the majority of your time waiting in line if you do.


Category Comment Rating
Fun Factor WHEE!!! 4.5
Boredom Fix-ness You cannot be bored here. Unless you're standing in line. 4
Creativity Some creative coasters, and some rather standard ones. 4
Final Verdict: 4.17


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The following comments after this point are old comments. Yay!

RubyGoodyBoo bakes:


The Titan is the same exact thing as Goliath.

My Bad.
March 29th 2009, 7:31 AM

RubyGoodyBoo un-shut-ups:

Smilie!You guys should try The Titan at Six Flags Over Texas.

It's the mad shit.

(I wanna ride the X now. I watched an amateur video of a guy riding it, I was all like, holy shit that looks rad.)
March 29th 2009, 7:16 AM

Will yammers:

Smilie!Magic Mountain Rocks You Just have to go at the right time my school lets u out for spring vacation a week later so you dont have to wait in big lines the longest ive been in it said it was an hour but it was about 10 minutes.

James (Guest) evaporates:

Smilie!I was an operator for Deja Vu too befor it closed and know i am the lead up at X. Who did you hear from that we were getting new trains

col (Guest) forms verbage to communicate:

Smilie!Totally inaccurate. We are California residents and have traveled the world (including coaster rides in Europe where most are engineered and built). Six flags sucks in comparison. We went there yesterday (10.11.03). The parking lot was about 50% full & the lines were 2 hours long because they has most cars out in maintenance. The park was also dirty, too expensive, and you had to pay extra for fast pass. Save you money & go to California Adventure or Knotts. Colonel (Dr) Dan.

CLARG (Guest) unleashes:


Rawrb un-shut-ups:

Smilie!Whoo! The actual coastar mayunn came here! Have you played rollar coastar tycoon?

jonathan pizzas:

Smilie!Hi, im a operator for Deja Vu. It was closed due to six flags ordering a new train and new cables for the towers. It will be open in Feb. Hope you guys had fun. Email me if you wanna know more stuff.

Joebob conveys:

Smilie!Collosus is the best ride ever!

Shan discharges:

Smilie!I hated Collosus. It was so rattled and jerky I felt like my bones were breaking. There's a ride that will make your whole body hurt....

It's all about Goliath. :D

Rawrb discharges:

Smilie!... on a SATURDAY!

Murph unleashes:

Smilie!Or go to Six Flags: Great America in Chicago for... reviewing purposes!

Tonay (Guest) declares:

Smilie!I say we go again!! But this time, we go for 2 days so we have twice the KILL! and Deathage!

Rawrb unleashes:

Smilie!HARHARH! Your score is 4.1666666666667 out of 5!
VIPER: Menacing distance shot.
X: Much worse than you think.
This is what death looks like.
It looks so harmless...
Some fellow Mooseburger fans.
Happy G-forces!
COLOSSUS: Let the bone-jarring commence!
It is hard to tell, but they are probably WHEE!-ing.
PSYCLONE: Extremely medium.
REVOLUTION: First... loop... ever.
SCREAM!: BLAH colored track.
Happy bendy loopy thingy.