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The Origins of the Word PLUH

By Shafty on 2003-03-03, 6 comments

Increase your word powar! Learn a second language (kind of)! Lick my love pluh (only applicable to supremely hot chicks)!

Most of us non-Arizona-type people discover Pluh.com accidentally. Like Shafty, who (while bored) was searching for stuff about Amanda Peet (whose movie he had just seen), and Gawkman's Pluhbabe revoow kept showing up in the google search. Obviously, now that Kayn has installed the "revoow comment" system thingy that allows people to comment on our reviews, we find that there are a bunch of people who end up at Pluh while searching for other stuff. Like Gawkman's Drumline review, which attracted a whole host of people who wanted to insult the former Texan as a "Yankee" or post unintelligible comments. Or the Stupid Videos Now thingy Kayn did, which turned into a vehicle for elementary school students to accuse each other of fornicating with barnyard animals. Like Mr. Ed. Or maybe Arnold, from Green Acres.

Arnold never realized that he would be the object of so much elementary school lust. SQUEEEAALL!!!

Or even for lame gamars to get their panties in a bind because Kayn refused to fully rubber-stamp Final Fantasy VIII as the greatest game ever made. (Technically, "my all-time game" is missing an adjective that would help us understand what qualities are truly being ascribed to this game.) But I digress. The point here is to wonder what it is that draws non-Arizonars to Pluh. So Shafty had started to run different searches on google, hoping to understand the sorts of things that Pluh.com was the Intarrnet's #1 source for. Previously, Shafty has related that Pluh.com is the Intarrnet's # 1 source for "BOOBAYS," "GUUUHHH," "GUUUHHHH," and otharr stuff. Until recently, however, Pluh.com was not even the Intarrnet's #1 source for "Pluh." Which makes no sense. Instead, it was from some Czechoslovakian site. In fact, all of the non-Pluh.com results for "pluh" led to Czechoslovakian websites. Which led SHAFTY to the conclusion that,

"Pluh" actually means something in another language.

So, over a cup of coffee that had SHAFTY suparr-stimulated last night, he and his honay decided to peruse the "Languages" section of Barnes & Noble, hoping to find a Czech-to-English dictionary. None such was in existence or, at least, not in that store. We were able to laugh at a Russian "dictionary" entitled something like "The Russian Tolstoy Never Talked About." It included all variety of curse words, and how they should be properly used in insulting Crazy Ivan. Yay for increasing your ability to curse other people! This morning, similarly stimulated by coffee (which, along with BEER, is the other catalyst for all discoveries in the New World), SHAFTY searched for a Czech-to-English dictionary to find out exactly what "Pluh" means. And the answer has been found. Drum roll, please...

"Pluh," in Czech, means "Plow."

This would probably have been a more mysterious and climactic ending had I not bolded, centered and increased the font of the last sentence.

This is a PLUH!!!!

Which, as it turns out, gives us hope for a new usage for the word "Pluh." For the uninitiated, or for those who came here looking for barnyard animals or "10" ratings for your very favorite video game so that you might feel justified in your lifelong dedication to ONE game only, we have a Glossary with a Pluh.com definition for Pluh. But, because Pluh ALSO means "Plow," and Plow is commonly used as a vulgar substitute for "to have SECKS with," now you can use "Pluh" as a VERB. E.g., "I PLUHed HER!" or "Man, she has teh HOTTS! What I would give to be able to PLUH her!" And so forth and so on. Or, if you are a supreme PLUHer, you could declare yourself to be...

Teh PLUHKING!!!!

And, all the while, you can also engage in self-righteousness because you're bilingual. Kind of. Incidentally, I consider this to be a landmark accomplishment. You should, too. It's not every day that somebody comes up with another way to refer to SECKS in a manner that grownups haven't yet figured out. Shafty = GRAMMAR KING!! (And PLUHKING, too, of course.) So, to avoid having this lecture on the many uses of "Pluh" vanish as soon as three more news posts have been made (ha ha, as if that will happen), this diatribe is soon going to be turned into a Boredom review for all to see. And, in anticipation of that event, for those who come to Pluh simply to trash somebody else's review, SHAFTY has this to say to would-be review commenters:

EAT MY PLUH.

Fun Factor: 0/5

What could be fun about dictionaries?

Dumbness Level: 5/5

It takes DUMB to spend an evening perusing foreign-language dictionaries.

Boredom Fix-ness: 3/5

Now I am somewhat less bored.

Creativity: 5/5

I am drunk. Drunk is me. I am drunk. WHEE!

Fun Factor: 0/5

Dumbness Level: 5/5

Boredom Fix-ness: 3/5

Creativity: 5/5

Overall: 3.25/5