The Daily dumb 5-14-2012

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

The Daily dumb 5-9-2012

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

The Daily Dumb 5-7-2012

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

The Daily Dumb 5-4-2012

Employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to management is knowing which mules are which.

The Daily Dumb 5-2-2012

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

The Daily Dumb 4-30-2012

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.

The Daily Dumb 4-27-2012

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

The Daily Dumb 4-25-2012

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The Daily Dumb 4-23-2012

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

The Daily Dumb 4-18-2012

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils