You can't spell SNUUUHHH without the letters D-U-M-B. Oh wait, you can. Never mind.

By Shafty at February 12th 2003, 12:00 PM 2

Except for "U." God, that subject title is a mess. Just like Kayn's missing Monday news post! OOOH! Shafty = CAPTAIN CLEVAR! Ah yes, it's that once-a-year special movie time. Time for the annual movie awards! And I'm not talking about the "Annual Giving Out of the Little Gold Naked Men" awards:

"I'm NAKED and COLD!" No, more importantly, the nominations for the Golden Raspberry Awards, honoring the very worst in filmdom. You know them bettar as... The Razzies. Topping the list for most nominations this year is.... the envelope, please.... this is so exciting.... Britney Spears' epic, Crossroads, with 8 nominations, including:

1. Worst Picture;
2. Worst Actress;
3. Most Flatulent Teen-Targeted Movie;
4. Worst Screen Couple;
5. Worst Director;
6. Worst Screenplay;
7. Worst 'Original' Song; and
8. Worst Counting Job by Razzies.com.

• Not an Oscar category... but it should be.
• "Captain! Off the starboard bow... there be DORKS!"
• ROAWR! *looks for something to slay with MURDARR!*
• The SA Guide to RPGs!

  "The population of RPG worlds have apparently pushed the local birds, rats, and wombats too far, and they now have no choice but to randomly retaliate against wandering adventurers. Nature absolutely, positively loathes you and only you. When was the last time anybody had to save other villagers or towns from rat attacks? Where the f**k is Animal Control? Don't towns have some kind of department which travels more than 10 feet outside of the town to make sure there aren't any fire owls waiting to attack?"

• Soon, all of this guy's problems will be solved!
• I can't believe that "Yer DUMB" didn't make the top five.
• 300 Episodes! Millions of Quotable Lines! Yay!
• Look! It's a prehistoric version of Shafty!
• Bless you, technology! *tear*
• Shafty comes, bearing gifts. Like this gift of BOOBAYS. You may all thank him appropriately.
• Special V-Day Kids Page! I especially like the one on the top right. [mystery]Reminds me of an upcoming Psychostick song....[/mystery] Oh, and this one gives me laughtarr times PIE! She's DUMB because she TRUSTED him!
• Horrarscopes!

  Capricorn (Dec. 22—Jan. 19): It's nice that you enjoyed the chicken pot pie, chips, and beer, but the genie was surprised you didn't try the old "wishing for more wishes" trick. Aquarius (Jan. 20—Feb. 18): Next week is a good one for romance in the workplace, but why they always have to use your office is beyond you.