The Daily Dumb 1-3-2013

Happy fucking new year everyone.

Goddamn it, I said happy fucking new year.

Boy, do I remember this as a kid.
Some people have no business being on TV. Apparently this catastrophe really aired just like this.

Nothing like an old miner on the toilet to scare the shit out of your mom.

I want a strange man to give me orgasms in front of a large crowd.

Look at the spare tire cover.

I’m sexy and I know it.

So some of my friends and I play the challenge game. Here’s the rules. Music related videos. The worse they are, the better. You must have sat through the entire video yourself before presenting a challenge. If you link it to your friend and they can’t make it through the video, you get to rightfully call them a bitch endlessly. Suffering makes you stronger. Do it! DO IT! I just made it through this pile of shit.

Full screen it and turn it up for hard mode. Challenge 1!

Thumbs way up!

Bitches ain’t shit.

Wallpaper done right.

Fond childhood memories.

IS THIS THE BUSTH TO MY SCHOOL!?!?!?

Soap please.

Can’t be unseen.

Stall journal.

Girls rapping, and it’s actually funny. I’m fucking shocked.

Winter riding is only for the most hardcore of bikers.

Go home helicopter you’re drunk.

That’s using your noodle.

30 greatest youtube comments.

Random celebrity photos.

Poor Brian.

Oh boy, I smell a new meme emerging.

That sounds like an awesome idea.

Oh, fuck you.

When a clever machinist is set on marriage…

Gardening with Patrick Stewart.

Meet the angler fish.

When parkour dudes get bored…

Dinner’s served.

Hipster JC.

Wrong time to have an attention slip.

Well trained mutts.

No shit.

Venn hipster.

Interesting house.

Apple maps.

Have you ever been so drunk that you….

Practical joke gone very bad.

Dog hates vacuum.

Really clever idea for lighting.

Good thing I don’t live in Illinois.

Ultimate 2012 fails.

No matter what.

Tables turning.

Badass at darts.

Extreme sports 2012.

Broken spine recovery.

5 medical breakthroughs that make life shockingly easy.

That’s style.

Fuckin’ kids.

Doing it right kid.

So I have more qualifications than just my beard.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOYYYYYYY JJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSS

Saved.

Revenge.

C’mon swaggers.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Fucking gross.

A bitter pet owner.

The art of trolling.

Reasonable premise.

Couple of lonely guys.

You ain’t shit.

Kill yourself. Now.

Lesbians.

Santa has reindeer spies.

Awesome wedding photos.

YAY!

Bustin a cap.

Damn right.

When a girl says she’s a squirter.

Judgement.

He may have sped up too much for the approach.

Solid reasoning. This card was in a dude’s grandfather’s wallet.

Hedgehog vengeance.

Stupid cop.

Harsh way to prove you’re right.

Caught.

Almost……..there……

When your brother asks for an electric toothbrush for xmas.

19 year old monk. Only man in the world known to be able to do this.

In case you didn’t groan the first time.

South park ftw.

Pure evil.

Who is the real hero?

Someone click yes.

Holy shit. That was clever.

Thinking outside of the box.

Your drunken mind.

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Punctuation.

Damn, I’d hit it.

Gargle what?

Stupid Twifags.

Reenactment.

It’s hard to have a boy’s night out.

I think something’s wrong with Danny.

MINE!

Dog shaming.

Hospital humor.

Serious string.

Geekdog.

Opposite day.

Good grief. This could be true.

I”m getting tired, because I’m laughing really hard.

Well stated.

No better feeling.

Teaching your mom about homonyms in the most dickhead way possible.

Brilliant.

Accents.

Vanilla.

Fuck soccer.

Birthdays are so much more metal now.

Play again?

Ok.

Holy fucking shit. This girl is going to be a brilliant woman.

I haven’t seen that yet. :)

Googled murica”

Santa, you asshole.

This one kills me every time.

Ha, it’s not really racist.

Dewey wins.

Aging well.

Lesbian mating call.

When you’re not sure who you’re addressing.

Girlfriend had an anal fissure. A cake was obtained for commemoration.

When I watch most other people use a computer.

Think Tarantino planned this one?

A mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy ,” the little girl asks ,”how old are you?”
“Honey , you are not supposed to ask a lady her age”, the mother warns .
“It is not polite”.
“Ok”, the little girl says .”How much do you weigh?”

“Now really ,” the mother says , “these are personal questions and really none of your business.”
Undaunted , the little girl asks,” why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions , honestly!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin play.
“My Mom wouldn’t tell me anything .” The little girl says to her friend
“Well,”said the friend ,”all you need to do is look at her drivers license
It is like a report card it has everything on it”, later that night ,the little girls says to her mother ,” I know how old you are . You are 32″. The mother is surprised and asks ,”how did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 140pounds .” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
” How in heaven ‘s name did you find that out?”
“And ,”the little girel says triumphantly ,”I know why you and daddy got a divorce”.
“Oh really?”The mother asks .” And why’s that?”
“Because you got an F in sex”.
Mother fainted