The Daily Dumb 11-13-2008

Deviously awesome car theft, the classic asshole dad video, Sarah Palin gets offered 2 mil to do a porno, and much much more.

I hope she does it. That’d be hilarious.
What a weird wakeup.
The queen of disgusting celebrities.
Classic awesome asshole dad video. This kid is fucked for life.
He’ll take down his feline doppelganger, despite the ensuing head injuries.
Dancing like a dipshit can be hazardous to surrounding inanimate objects.
Mowing the lawn with your mouth.
Oh man, split tongues are fuckin’ fucked up.
Phillies fans led by their youngest comrade. A guy gets home from work one night and hears a voice in his head, which tells him, “Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas.” The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the voice. But the next day, the same thing happens: The voice tells him, “Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas.” Again the man ignores the voice, but he’s becoming increasingly upset, and the third time he hears the voice, he succumbs to the pressure. He quits his job, sells his house, takes his money, and heads to Las Vegas. The moment the man gets off the plane in Vegas, the voice tells him, “Go to Harrah’s.” He hops in a cab and rushes over to the casino, where the voice tells him, “Go to the roulette table.” The man does as he is told. When he gets to the roulette table, the voice tells him, “Put all your money on 17.” Nervously, the man cashes in all his money for chips and then puts them on 17. “Now watch,” says the voice. The dealer wishes the man good luck and spins the roulette wheel. Around and around the ball caroms. The man anxiously watches the ball as it slowly loses speed until finally it settles into number . . . 21. The voice says, “Fuck.” The onion pokes fun in a completely correct manner.
YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A ‘Good’ Video The black hole. 100 movie spoilers in a few minutes. Seriously awesome car thief.A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing the neighborhoods. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said. “How much will you charge me?” The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?” He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes .” A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money. “You finished already?” the husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats – no extra charge.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. “And by the way,” the blonde added … “It’s not a Porch, It’s an Audi.” New FDISK merch model here.