The Daily Dumb 11-14-2011

A washed up old harlot named Tupps, Was heard to confess, in her cups: “The height of my folly Was screwing a collie, But I got a good price for the pups!”

This is what I do when ugly chicks hit on me at the bar.
What the hell?
BJ
Lots of pausing and reading here, but totally interesting.
OBGYN is scary.
Childhood destruction.
Glass art.
Solving alcohol breath.
That’s what she said.
Nutty jailhouse fight.
Probably the stupidest thing I’ll see today.
Protect and serve.
Playing fetch with a ninja.
Truth.
Metal>Everything else.
It will end.
This odesn’t even look right.
Badass dog.
Dukes of vodka.
Looks like a damn UFO.
5 tiny computer glitches that caused huge disasters.
Women…….
Blood on the ice!
These dumb shits will never learn.
That’s going to leave a mark.
Fucking excellent.
This is a classic. Little girl calls to have her school demolished.
WTF India?
Pandas ARE assholes.
Celebrate with fire. A knock-out young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. She found herself a rich, 73-year-old man with the intention of screwing him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his twelve-inch erection. He was also carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs. Fearing that her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, “What are those for?” The elderly gentleman replied, “There are just two things I can’t stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber.”