Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. – Homer Simpson
I’ll have to add this to next month’s read list.
Her crazy goes up to 11.
Mature graffiti artist.
5 tips for pairing cheap beers with personal failures.
Having some fun on the autobahn.
Rest in Peace Maurice.
I stand corrected. THIS is a major ouchie.
…starring Reonardo DiCaprio.
Geico should hire this dude.
I’ve actually seen this happen in person.
Epic Sandman battle!
Scary scary monster.
Another chick that can’t drive.
How much can that pussy bench?
Drew fucking HATES working out.
7 classic film sets that actually killed people.
Damn Siri, you so racist!
A triumphant return!
Baby’s first faceplant.
I know that voice.
It starts early, and never gets any better.
High five motherfucker!
Avian fish food.
Flight simulator level Chuck Norris
Hellllllllllllllllllllll STOOOORRRRMMMS! Ruuuuush over the earth!!!! Bestial Invasion!
Interesting place for a nap.
That’s what friends are for.
The chosen one.
14 photographs that shatter your image of famous people. One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. NOW ——– Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock. MORAL FROM TODAY’S LESSON: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.