the Daily Dumb 6-1-2012

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

Make the most of your time.
Your dog wants to look distinguished too.
This hearing for the first time stuff is catching on.
How to piss off the other team.
White boy problems.
6 ballsiest sports cheats of all time.
I bet they go to church to learn about morality.
Indiana Jones nut.
Danger cat!
Magician for your next baby shower.
Watch fat Macgyver.
Cleaning fairy… weird shit.
A missing link found.
What’s that brown stain on your seat?
Treasure prank.
Much happier puffer fish.
Ever seen perfect strangers?
… play dead.
Ebaums best of may.
Damn I wish I was near Philly.
Toddler brainwashing… it’s so adorable.
THE definition of lucky bastard.
Had they gotten the ensuing beating on tape, this would be a lot better.
More politicians like this.
Impatient fuck in an SUV.
Jump fails… a woohoo!
Mid air roast.
So simple… why the hell wasn’t this already done?
Virgin HQ.
The fake was awesome.
Only the degenerate gamblers are safe.
You don’t fuck with a man’s GoCo.
European commercials are so much better.
Now this is a goddamn paintball match.
Show this to the next lazy fuck kid that wants to sit out P.E.
In soviet russia, peanut butter and jelly involves sea life….
Human castle time.
When guidos lose it….
Saw the title of this one and almost didn’t want to watch it. Must be Monaco.
Feline shenanigans.
8 prehistoric creatures ripped directly from your nightmares. A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a beautiful young woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he didn’t want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked… “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a parting kiss?” So she does… and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! How about another?” The second kiss was even hotter and more sensuous. “Mmmmm – that was some turn-on kiss” the biker says. “You know, ….you have a real talent there that you would be wasting. You could have any guy you wanted and be very happy. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.” The authorities think she may have been pushed.