The Daily Dumb 6-13-2012

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.

This guy….. wow….
So that last guy doesn’t listen to these types.
5 sci fi dystopias we’ve actually created for animals.
Way to go dad.
I think this needs some serious olympic consideration.
4 things single men will never fully understand about women.
Wisdom teeth whack out.
Damn fear factor…. you nasty.
Slow motion germ propagation is fucking awesome.
4 bad filmmakers who accidentally made smart movies.
Autotune Rogers is a very stoney fellow.
Special effects are pretty sweet.
Blink sucks.
Jagertranslation.
20 stupid misconceptions that people still believe.
Uhhhhh…. huh uh…. this chick like… rules or something….
6 famous news stories that forgot to tell you the best part.
World map for rednecks.
Drinking tolerance level: Chuck Norris.
Brilliant.
Nice helmet.
You’re not special.
Dog hates to lose.
Caliente birthday.
Steady hand.
This made me smile.
Ridiculously badass.
Diablo freakout. hahahahahahahahaha.
Best mashup idea I’ve seen in quite a while.
Fucking awesome bar bets.
Even grandma wants in on the action.
Chuck Norris is…. CHUCK NORRIS.
Shut up bitch.
The simplest pranks can be hilarious.
True story.
The most hilarious of turf wars.
New mastercard ad.
Derpdrink.
The truth sucks.
Awesome pooch.
Punch him again!
Utah has better coffee shops than us.
Take that.
That Darwin asshole has really been lying down on the job.
5 people who got screwed by famous movies based on them. 80,000 Englishmen meet in the local Stadium for a “Englishmen Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that Englishmen are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” An Englishman works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 Englishmen start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!” The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance.” So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened – the Englishman starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!” The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?” The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Englishmen jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream… “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”