The Daily Dumb 6-22-2011

A large-organed female in Dallas, Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus, Was virgo intacto, Because, ipso facto, No phallus in Dallas fit Alice

RIP Ryan Dunn.
Scooters and walls are not good friends.
Unlikely techno.
Nasty accident.
A culture’s cursing can tell you a lot about them.
Bambi rampages in the house of god.
The air ball of stage dives.
Just in it for the hunt.
He learned everything he knows by watching Shaq.
Bad time to lose control of a vehicle.
Australian hilarity.
Awesome at his job.
The weather report is …. awesome!
A grassroots campaign that I can really get behind.
Sim City funnies.
A question that will plague me for the rest of my life.
Best music video ever.
Improvised weapons.
The 16 most baffling pieces of official merchandise ever.
10 outrageous plagiarists.
It’s poster time!
Trolling chicks online.
Inventions.
Good dog.
Concept understood.
Awesome stereo bro.
Hamburger houdini.
Bulimic art.
He’s a baby tamer too.
Remember when Jim Carrey was hilarious?
More than one way to skin your meal.
This kid kicks physics right in the nuts.
A vicious rivalry.
Careful what you wish?
Super mario.
Bad dog.
A different sort of faceplant.
Stuck in the airport.
When your hike gets a little perilous….
Eyebrow bomb.
Stereo.
This makes me want to BLAST some S.O.D.
Hahahaha fuckin’ 80′s
I’ve been here too many times.
Passive aggressive much?
Origin of the species.
Pay scale is just a little warped here.
Follow directions.
Boys vs girls.
Get a real hobby homeboy.
What a tough guy. I hope he gets fucked with an auger.
Let’s drop some acid.
8 filthy jokes hidden in ancient works of art.
Homosexuality: A necessity on cold mountaintops. There is a guy who has been having chronic trouble trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis. “Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” she says. “The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure.” The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. “So what’s the good news?” he asks. The doctor says, “There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant’s trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?” The guy thinks about it and finally says, “Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let’s do it.” So the doctor performs the operation. A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful. Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve the pressure. Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop, grabs a dinner roll, and returns to his pants again. “Wow!” says his stunned girlfriend, “That was impressive! Can you do that again?” Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, “Probably … But I don’t know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass.”