The Daily Dumb 7-26-2010

Big fat hairy dumb.

So this hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear and takes with him his trusty 22-gauge rifle. After a little while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, though, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps this guy on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can either rip your throat out and eat you alive, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll do you in the ass.” The hunter figures that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers, bends over, and the bear delivers on his promise. After the bear leaves, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers into town vowing revenge. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear once again is gone. A moment later, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterwards, the hunter pulls up his trousers and crawls back into town. Now he’s really mad, so he buys himself a bazooka. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears this time, the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, “You’re not REALLY here for the hunting are you?” You’re not allowed to play with fire and then cry wuss.
Badass bank robbery.
She acted pretty surprised.
Some people just know how to crash…..
Now everyone at the rave can know what a douchebag you are.
Doesn’t have to trim his nails to scratch.
Tunneling ants.
Bison gives a lesson in women’s
Great roller coaster pics.
Another douchebag wounded in action.
Professionality failure.
Suspension fail.
Drugs are awesome.
If mother nature were 10 years old with a wrist rocket…
Top 10 female assassins.
That’s a damn cool bird.
Frisbee golf: Now hazardous to your nads.
Close calls with disaster.
15 best recut movie trailers.
That’s fucking foul.
Console equivelants.
Time for photobombs!
Facebook wants you to die.
Louis CK’s best moments.
Gif time.
20 worst domain names of all time.
8 inexpensive things repurposed for something awesome.
The reason religion sickens me is that I’m allergic to bullshit.
Another twisted facet of the internet I had no idea existed. Fuck.
She’s not dying on his watch.
Horrible fast food ideas that can’t be too far off.
Oh Japan….
The alternate ending.
Here you go Wigz.
Thinking outside the box.
Dude needs new hobbies.
Soccer player shows diversity.
About time the cops got a taste of their own medicine.
Bird call master.
Tarp surfing.
Eagle owl in slow motion.
Pure Michigan Downriver.
Not even close dude.
Wake up and twitch.
You think rebuilding the deathstar is fucking cheap?
Train conductor gets in touch with nature.
6 great novels that were hated in their time.
Nostalgia Critic: Mortal Kombat Annihilation. A note on the fridge: My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset—-I shall be home before midnight. When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.