The Daily Dumb 8-10-2011

There once was a pirate (the story relates) who liked to go dancing on roller skates. He fell on his cutlass which rendered him nutless and virtually useless on dates.

A true fallen guitar legend. RIP Shawn Lane.
Vicious bear mauling.
Nailed it.
He should have done more crunches.
Parrot is angry about shit.
Great set of pipes.
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
I wish it was this easy.
That was pimp.
What could possibly go wrong?
Failing really slow.
That was telegraphed as hell, but what the fuck do I know, it landed….
White bitches can’t jump.
What the hell is google+
6 ways bacteria will prevent the apocalypse.
UFC 133 Evans vs Big mouth douchebag.
Stop motion street fighter.
Not what I expected.
Her first period.
Crazy boredom.
I hope some day I’ll get a postmortem handjob.
Stupid PETA assholes.
WTF photos are also a thing of the past.
Driver needs his head kicked in.
Wait for the bonus.
I wish there was video of the kids doing it.
Fuck yes.
BWAHAHAHA
Pets raising pets.
There’s truth to this.
I hope the prison guards tell everyone why this guy is in. Then it’s only a matter of time.
Fucking classic.
5 ridiculous secrets only two living people know part 2.
Onion news network is LOUD. A touching poem inspired by a true story: My wife is a moron She wants to be a good mother But refuses to teach our daughter The simplest things My wife is a moron Our daughter is Five Years old Yet she refuses My wife is a moron Our daughter is five and still refuses to wipe her own butt My wife is a moron If Darling starts crying “I’ll wipe your butt, poor Sweetie” All through highschool! My wife is a moron If I’m trying to teach our precious daughter “Don’t make her cry” My wife is a moron Ok, then, how pray tell? Take the TP in your hand :Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry: My wife is a moron “It’s okay honey, I’ll do it’ SHE’S FIVE! YOU MORON! When will you stop? My wife is a moron “She crying, don’t try” “to teach her, she’s five” She will never learn. My wife is a moron Daughter starts school Next week. Can’t wipe Her own Goddamn butt.