The Daily Dumb 4-14-2014

Crazy stop motion with wood.

Disappointment.

The music totally makes it.

Good dog.

What a fucking cool dude.

Everyone hates these fucking things.

Quick life hacks.

Blind for 35 years.

This was seriously badass.

Turns out you can be on wheel of furtune even if you’re illiterate and in college.

Reminds me of conversations with my girlfriend at times.

I wish this was real.

Fake Drake.

This seems a bit unfair…

Wanna quicky?\

Total dad win.

It’s the little things…

Slight miscalculation.

So some cats aren’t assholes?

I’d love to have one of these… until it got huge.

That’s a long way.

Fucking with your coworkers.

lol

Everyone loves watching car crashes.

Take off that coat buddy.

Well played.

Dog likes to burrow.

They look like the Hardly boys to me.

Colossal Chrysler fuckup.

What DJ’s used to do.

She’s a keeper.

A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, “Look, you have so much to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

“What are you doing here?” the captain asked.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained. “I get food and a trip to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”

“He certainly is,” the captain said. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

The Daily Dumb 4-11-2014

April Fools bitches. I was on vacation.

Who else is excited about season 4?

The story behind the most famous photograph in the world.

Good kitty.

Brutal bulldog attack.

Fuckin’ dumbass.

World’s biggest fusion reactor.

Dogs and soldiers.

I don’t remember school projects like this.

This looks pretty nuts.

This would make for a short game.

Best prank ever.

Brewmaster rips apart cheap wine.

Brazen Brazilian.

Who you should unfriend on facebook. This really works.

Smarter than the average bear.

Destined for greatness.

Thank you?

Bunch of bitches.

1 horsepower wakeboarding rig.

Real smooth reporter lady. You’ll be kissing Jessie Jackson’s ass in no time.

Real smooth reporter lady. You’ll be interviewing fish in no time.

First time on a coaster.

RIP Warrior. You were one of my favorites as a kid.

Smells fishy.

Grow up fag.

Book club.

Chocolate milk challenge.

Crazy cat.

Cool Thai commercial.

Crazy card trick.

A horse and a kitty.

Major pilot skills.

Awesome dad.

She gets around.

Best rope swing ever?

Sleepy kitty.

Bulk erasing.

Watched this the other night, and it looks pretty promising.

Mario trashes your pad.

Really stuck the landing.

Weirdest goddamn band ever?

Solid April Fools prank.

Westboro fags GTFO.

Dumbass biker.

Dumbass cager.

You got served…. by the NYPD.

So relaxing.

Drunken Norgie and the nice cops.

A lot of fail in one place.

Dogs hate magic.

Badass.

All of the British accents.

3rd world drum shred.

Fedex is fucking up.

Talented rats.

Facts that sound like bullshit.

Modelbombed.

Fastest lawnmower.

Letterman’s retirement statement.

Red dot prank.

Clinton talks aliens.

Shitty diet.

High speed dirt.

Amish moving company.

Porn trolling.

If somebody had freaked out and run… it would have been way funnier.

Something had to make that bullshit stop.

Not how you merge.

Diseases you don’t want.

HAX!

Strange pets.

Best day ever.

Historically accurate disney cartoons.

Border patrol.

Been there, done that.

Cat is not impressed by your guitar.

Creepy as fuck images.

Protecting and serving.

It’s so cool, it sucks.

Awesome historical artifacts.

Little pictures big history.

Origin of the memes.

Sailin

Good kitty?

In the ghetto.

Welcome to Florida.

How girls and guys drive.

Redneck transportation.

They all missed the bus.

GTFO.

Dad of the year.

Severed hand prank.

Junkin’ at the gym.

Hypocritical pricks.

This chick sums it up well. P.S. she’s hot

Who really invented the internet?

The perfect card trick.

Art from serial killers.

Sticks and Stones.

You are seriously fucked.

Safety equipment is important.

Paris Hilton…. not being a bitch. Weird.

Little Gordon.

Self esteem boost, fuck.

ladyboy pageant of Thailand. I’m fucking scared.

Florida at 2:30 in the morning… in 1987.

Best protest sign ever.

I will eat….

Maddox mocks everything.

My tax dollars at work.

Heckler busted.

Speak up.

Always wondered how this worked.

Pipes from hell.

Old people.

I dare you.

Rejection letter Venom got shopping labels in 1980.

Fucking tragedy.

Intensity amplified.

Nintendo Oui.

My doctor wrote me a prescription for “dailysex”

But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for “dyslexia”.

The Daily Dumb 3-31-2014

40 years, and hearing for the first time.

All of our fears with the Oculus Rift.

The road less traveled.

Epic win.

This may seriously kill you.

Cuteness overkill.

Well played doggie.

You had one job….

Combat juggling.

Crazy fast RC car.

Effective theft deterrent.

Structure needs improvement.

Crazy hockey block.

Good on him.

Baby’s first steps.

Star Wars on a pipe organ.

Easily startled.

Fucking moron.

Dog=Cute. Half a dog=half cute? WRONG. Half dog=cute. The math does not add up. I just divided by zero.

He’s not impressed.

Gay. Fake. LOL

Every playground needs a goat.

How much is dog therapy?

Crazy shit.

Grandma has moves.

Best car vent ever.

This doesn’t look like an especially good idea.

Put this guy on the news.

When your dad is a dreamworks animator… your home videos are going to be rad.

Cell phone crashing.

This doesn’t look safe.

He THINKS he’s bungee jumping.

Commuter pigeon.

Free sex.

Close calls.

THIS is how you advertise.

Satan help the women these dudes are with.

Awesome dog.

Black jeopardy.

Tree fights back.

Pranking Gordon Ramsey.

Advice mallard.

Good kid.

Awesome scare prank.

Fooling the cops.

April Fools ideas.

My kind of music.

Wal Mart…..

Craigslist.

Mummy.

Not sure how I never put this together until now.

Ask your sister.

Venn diagrams are important.

Anthony Hopkins was a composer and wrote a waltz before he was an actor. Watch his reaction as he sees it performed.

Will Wheaton talks about being teased as a kid.

South Park tribute to Monty Python.

I wish I could have seen this.

I have a 6’6″ Jewish friend we call Tallocaust. Guess who just got a copy of this on their facebook wall?

pwned.

How half of those Arabian tales got written…

Trombone loop.

Ahhh man, now THAT is funny.

Family Feud epic win.

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up from his newspaper and said; ” Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married”

She said, “Yes, that’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?

He nodded and said, “Yes dear, I said: Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.”

She giggled and said, “That’s exactly what you said. So now it’s fifty years later, and I’m in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight ?”

He looked her up and down and said, “Mission Accomplished.”

The Daily Dumb 3-27-2014

New engine tech.

This would make my entire week.

Denmark is asking its people to support their country…. the right way.

Welcome back Buddy.

TV theme songs from Carnegie Hall.

Watching this destruction is still unreal.

He pretty much nails it.

Without the music, you’d lock this guy in an asylum.

That will teach you.

Narrow escape.

Great Aussie commercial.

I’m the juggernaut bitch!

Little Billy is standing in the barn with his grandpa

There are rabbits in the barn and their droppings are all over the floor.

The boy says, “What are all these pellets on the ground, grandpa?”

Grandpa says, “They’re smart pills, Billy. Eat them and you’ll get smarter.”

Little Billy liked the sound of that so he grabbed a handful off the ground and shoved them in his mouth. He immediately spit them out and said, “Ugh, those taste like crap, grandpa!”

Grandpa says, “See you’re getting smarter already.”

The Daily Dumb 3-26-2014

Fucking moron.

Drone dentist.

Ahhhnold on QVC.

Close one.

Honest trailer: Captain America.

Quaaludes maaaaaan.

Looks like a good time to me.

Dead celebrities.

In CA she’d probably catch a beating for this.

Holy shit that was close.

Sit the fuck down.

Hawaiian paradise.

Kill it with fire.

Man, people are fuckin stupid.

Jordan would be proud.

SHIT

Fuck this thing.

Bad pickup lines.

Roommates are assholes.

Star wars lego prank.

Winter’s over bitch.

Pranking dad fuckup.

Nun fuckin’ rocks it.

March fails.

I thought it was kind of funny. People are fucking assholes.

Nice moves eh?

Funny way to fuck up at work.

Dogs don’t like magic.

Do I smell a remake?

Don’t be mad and stupid at the same time.

Baseball is about tantrums.

Holy shit.

Fastest knockout ever.

I was completely moved.

Well, this shit is going to be totally warped.

Solid vocal mimicry.

Rap battle the new kid.

This chick is seriously warped.

She’s a natural.

At least he can get high.

Crazy concept.

Facebook fails.

Fearless.

Best way to exit.

Tough ass pet for a tough ass dude.

Crazy ass dog.

Get super high and click on this.

You had a great idea there pal.

WTF prank call.

Caves.

Kenny Powers, espanol.

Fish problems.

Whistling bastard.

This is the best paint job I’ve seen in a while.

A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, ‘How can I help you?’ The farmer said, ‘I want to get one of them dayvorces.’

The lawyer said, ‘Do you have any grounds?’ The farmer said, ‘Yes, I got 40 acres’

The lawyer said, ‘No, No, you don’t understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, ‘Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.’

The lawyer said, ‘No, no, I mean, do you have a case?’ The farmer said, ‘No, I ain’t got a Case, but I got a John Deere.

The lawyer said, ‘No, I mean, do you have a grudge?’ The farmer said,’Yes, I got a grudge, that’s where I parks the John Deere’
T
he lawyer said, ‘Does your wife beat you up or something?’ The farmer said, ‘No, we both get up at 4:30.’

By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question.

The lawyer said, ‘Is your wife a nagger?’ The farmer said, ‘No, she’s a white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that’s why I wants a dayvorce.’

The Daily Dumb 3-20-2014

I want one!

This looks like a Mr. Bean skit.

Walken dance!

Haha, nuclear prank.

Cool idea, serving the homeless.

Yeah, whatever.

He fucked that up.

How lucky is that?

Dude, you’re fucking up.

Poor little dude was stuck.

Swallow.

I like it when an ad campaign revolves around lots of drug use.

Hilarious gym prank phone calls.

Sure.

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church.

The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple were newlyweds.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem.

The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

“Can of PAINT?” exclaimed the minister.

“Yeah,” said the newlywed man. “She dropped the can, and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.”

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

“That’s okay,” said the man. “We’re not welcome in Home Depot either.”

The Daily Dumb 3-19-2014

Superman with a gopro in LA.

Baby fox is awesome.

Nobody likes a cheater.

Let’s get ready for April Fool’s day.

F1 sound sucks now.

An appropriate reaction.

Go home Danica.

Definitely should have died hard.

Nice one pig.

5 insane ways animals changed the course of humanity.

Not a smart feline.

One ring to rule the mall.

Show me your weenis!

Dumbass drunks.

Well… no shit.

Grisly scene.

Steve Harvey winning.

Hospital humor.

Shameless.

Pickup lines.

Too early in the morning.

Helping a talented guy get what he deserves.

Nerd alert. Dudes talking about computer storage in 1984.

Bugs in the system.

Awesome tongue prank.

George of the Jungle.

Evolution of medicine.

Creepy body painting.

Collection of interesting and random photos.

5 reasons flying a fighter jet is way crazier than top gun.

A Catholic couple is about to get married, and the woman sits the man down for a heart-to-heart the day before the wedding. She says, “Honey, before we do this, I have something I need to get off my chest. You see, a few years back, my family was very poor, and for a while I had to work as a prostitute.”

The man leaps out of his chair and shouts, “Oh no, absolutely not! I can’t get married to you!”

The woman starts crying, and begs him to forgive her, “Please don’t leave me – surely you can live with a woman who used to be a bit of a whore…”

The man sits down and says, “Oh, that’s fine. For a minute I thought you said Protestant.”

The Daily Dumb 3-18-2014

So we had a tiny earthquake yesterday morning. Here’s a newscaster grossly overreacting.

Fucking unreal jet control.

Brings a tear to my eye.

Yoga pants part 2.

Fake ranger.

Some serious water pressure.

Jammin’ with the band!

It’s a clown car!

Crazy names.

You ever had your life threatened by a box of Lucky Charms?

Car designed for roasting marshmallows.

More marketing assholes.

Scaring drunk people.

It’s all your fault.

Yep.

What a difference a wave makes.

Charity boyfriend.

Physics!

He gets all the bitches.
This bookkeeper is deaf, an occupational benefit since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he’d ever have to testify about in court.

When the mafioso confronts the bookkeeper about his missing money, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The mafioso asks, “Where’s the ten million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper, and the bookkeeper signs back. The attorney tells the mafioso, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

The mafioso pulls out a 9-mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper’s temple, cocks it, and says, “Ask him again!”

The attorney signs, “Don Vito will kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”

The bookkeeper sighs and signs back, “Okay, you win. The money is in a brown briefcase buried behind the shed in my backyard on Staten Island.”

The mafioso asks the attorney, ” Well, what’d he say?”

The attorney shakes his head. “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

The Daily Dumb 3-17-2014

7 minutes of crazy close calls.

Captain Quinn’s winter challenge.

Shark attack.

Lego Simpsons.

Safety first.

Spoon Prank Russian style.

This looks like a good place for a nap.

A tough as nails old man, and a trigger happy pig.

I did the same thing when I was a baby. :)

FUCK this shit.

This cat hates hipsters by default.

Dissecting the troll.

I’ll watch this every time I feel like snacking when I shouldn’t be.

Bogus beer lawsuit.

FUCK YEAH POPCORN

My girl’s a twin…. aaaand fuck this.

Pickup method is old school, but effective.

Possessed by a horse.

Would you like fries with that?

The William Wallace Whale.

Smoooooth….

They should do an outtake reel with this song for real.

5 insane petty crimes committed by North Korea.

What a fuckin’ pussy.

Or get a bike and don’t sit there stuck… :)

Fuck the police.

Been a good while since I watched this. ATHF movie intro.

Anchorman 2 gag reel.

Glass break in slow mo.

Meet Gobbles.

Hell yeah.

Someone’s getting fired over this one.

Crazy cat.

For the nerd who hates Posters.

Metal as fuck.

Horrifying medical devices from the past.

Bunch of goddamn posers.

Truth from the mouth of babes.

Right in the feels.

5 behind the scenes facts I learned as a pro wrestler.

Solid point made.

Revenge.

COLLEGE

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says “Hey pirate, do you know you’ve got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?”

The pirate says “Arrrh, I know, it’s drivin me nuts”